grace and joy

Moments . . .

2009-10-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

There are moments in our lives that change us forever – some are big and some are small, either way they impact us on some level . . . the moment you get picked for the lead in the play that you’ve been dying for or the or the moment that boy finally asks you out on your first date or the moment you go from being a Miss to a Mrs or the moment you realize . . . we are about to become a family of THREE!! or the moment that . . . you finish it.

For us, we had a moment last October 9th . . .it was the moment our doctor told us that, at 6 ½ months pregnant, our baby no longer had a heart beat!! That was a moment that will never be forgotten and has forever impacted our lives!

We’ve had miscarriages . . . but this was different . . . far different! I had just felt our baby kick the week before . . .I had seen ultrasounds of our baby moving. . . I knew that there was a life in me! Yes, we knew that our baby had some abnormalities – the month prior we had found out that he had a large hole in his heart – a ventricular septal defect – and that his right kidney was not functioning. We had been told that there was a possibility that our baby wouldn’t survive to term. There is a HUGE difference between “the possibility” and the reality! On October 9^th we were living the reality!

That Thursday and Friday were two of the most wonderfully terrible days of my life! What do I mean? If we hadn’t been in that situation we wouldn’t have been able to see the Lord work. Those were two days where I felt the presence of the Lord in a way I don’t think I ever had before! My husband and I had such a peace within this storm. We were surrounded by family and friends (who frankly are more like family!). We were blessed by the Lord in ways that I can’t even begin to count. Big ways, little ways, ways that we didn’t even know we needed to be blessed. We were prayed for and just loved! What an amazing time that was!

As this first anniversary comes it is very surreal . . . it seems like only yesterday we were in the hospital and yet it seems like it has been ages. God is so good how He protects our hearts. And yet the heart still hurts! There isn’t a day that doesn’t go by where I don’t think of my son in one way or another. What would it be like to be getting three kiddos ready for the day? or What would it be like to look back and hear the sounds of my baby boy cooing at me while we are driving along? So many thoughts go through my mind and then I look at the two girls I have here with me and I’m so thankful for what the Lord has given me here! I can’t wait to meet my son when I step in to glory, but I have two precious girls here who need me right now! I have no guarantees on their eternity . . .I have a son who is in heaven . . . walking hand in hand with the God of the Universe – with my Jehovah God! Wow! I can’t even fully fathom that!!!

We’ve had moments that have been more difficult than others. The moment when someone asks how many children do I have . . . well, I have three . . . but do I say that and have them pity me if they ask the ages and I share about my son who is in heaven? I don’t want pity, but people don’t always know what to say and I don’t want to make people feel badly. Or the moment when someone doesn’t say anything because they are afraid that they are going to hurt my feelings or say the wrong thing . . . honestly, it is worse when someone avoids the fact that I have a son who is in heaven. That hurts. Yet, I understand . . . I’ve been there – what do you say. . .well, just be honest!

The moments get easier and harder all at the same time, but I have to be honest I wouldn’t change a thing! Yes, I would give just about anything to be sitting here with my baby boy, but that is not what the Lord had for our family! I am constantly reminded of Job’s response to his wife, who wanted him to curse God after his children and every possession had been taken away. Job 2:10 “But he said to her, ‘You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God and shall we not receive evil?’”

From the beginning our desire was for God to be glorified in all that happened – we only pray that that has occurred. So many people have said such kind and lovely things to us and encouraged us over the last year. We are tremendously blessed! We are so thankful for your prayers and love!

I cling to the hope found in I Peter 5:10-11 “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.”

These moments of suffering are nothing in light of eternity and to know that my God, my Abba Father, my Creator and Redeemer will HIMSELF restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish ME, this wretched little redeemed sinner!!! That is a moment worth waiting for!

And then . . . there is the moment you find out God has blessed you with another little life! What a joyous moment that was!!!

You can read more about my precious Jackson Christopher here!

40 years!!!

2009-10-04T16:15:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while since my last post, but today seems like a perfect day to break that streak!! Forty years ago today, October 4, 1969, my parents were married!!! Words cannot express how grateful I am that they have been faithful to their commitments to one another that October day!! What a blessing it is to not only be able to say that my parents are still married forty years later, but I can truly say that they love one another and enjoy each others company still! They continue to make each other laugh, drive each other crazy at times, spend time together frequently, look to one another for advice, encouragement, guidance, dog selections (that's for mom!), and so much more. From my vantage point they are one anothers best friend. Their relationship is inspiring! And I would venture to say - if you know them you have been blessed by them!!

I love you mom and dad! Thank you for your faithfulness, diligence, godliness, wisdom, sacrificial love, time, and so much more!!! Here's to another 40!!!!

A couple weeks ago I had the privilege of photographing my parents . . . so here are a few!!!

I love this one . . . says so much!!!

in glory

2009-05-24T15:05:00.001-07:00

As a little girl I always knew there was something special about me. Not just because my parents were very eager to praise me for any little thing I might do or because they made me feel like I was the most beautiful, smartest, most talented little girl (far from it - a parents' love will do that) - no I was given a very special name. My parents named me Michelle Ellen - the Ellen was after my grandma - my mom's mom - one of the most wonderful women I have ever known. Now she would tell you that there wasn't anything special about her, but I am here to tell you that she was, in a word, REMARKABLE! As much as I knew that I carried a special name I knew that my grandma was a very special woman - I knew that she wasn't like all other grandmas. For starters she was 60 when I was born - a bit older than my friends' grandmas, but I knew Grandma Cook could and would run circles around them. I cannot think of an event, party, performance, birthday, etc that she was not at! If my brothers or cousins and I were participating in something SHE WAS THERE!!!

My grandma was not just remarkable because she invested time in to my life, but because she first loved Jesus Christ! Jesus was her first love and she let us know that by her words, deeds, and actions! When Grandma Cook said she was praying for you - SHE WAS!! She loved her Lord and because of her faithfulness, He blessed her abundantly! Over the years I have seen her faithfulness and been able to see her love for Christ played out. She never wearied of sharing her faith with anyone and everyone - she has lived a life, in my eyes, of faithfulness, godliness, perseverance, wisdom, and joy!

My grandma was beyond special! It has been fun watching her with each great grandchild (now totaling 20) how her eyes would light up as they came in the room. My girls could not wait to see Grammie Great! They loved to sit in her room while she read them stories or played games with them or while she allowed them to carry-out one of their rather lengthy meetings. One thing I have admired about Grandma is how she so willingly loved my husband and friends. All of my friends know my grandma as Grandma Cook - they loved her like their own grandma and she loved them as well. She has always been so interested in what Flavio is up to and has taken a genuine interest in his golf career. When he was pursuing the PGA Tour she watched him play - walking the 18 holes - as he caddies she asks how they are doing. I love that she doesn't just love him because he married her granddaughter, but she genuinely LOVES Flavio!!

Last Saturday, May 16th, my grandma went to be with her Lord. While I still can't get my mind around the fact that she isn't here - it is a glorious picture I have of her in Heaven, worshipping Our Saviour, walking hand-in-hand with Jesus Christ, talking to Him, looking upon His Holy face, asking Him all of the things she has been dying to know. I can only imagine the joy she felt when she saw her Lord, when He embraced her and told her "Well Done good and faithful one". I like to think that after that she found my Jackson, hugged him, kissed him, and told him how much he is loved. Oh what a glorious day it will be when we will all be re-united together in Glory.

God graciously gave us a wonderful week with her - surrounded by family and friends we were able to sing some of her favorite hymns, pray together, laugh, and just enjoy our last times with this precious, precious woman. She had one final request of the Lord, she wanted to see her 20th great grandchild - Peter and Emily were expecting their first baby on May 14th - Scout Magnolia made her arrival on May 15th @ 4:46am - grandma was able to see pictures and video of number 20 and about 24 hours after Scout's arrival grandma entered in to the presence of the Lord.

My grandma will be missed here on this earth, but she has left a tremendous legacy.

Here are a few pictures of my Grandma Cook!

Psalm 92:12-15

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;

planted in the house of the LORD,
they will flourish in the courts of our God.

They will still bear fruit in old age,
they will stay fresh and green,

proclaiming, "The LORD is upright;
he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him."

Uncle Herbie (grandma's little brother)

Grandma and Lily - on one of our Scrapbooking Weekends

#20 Scout Magnolia

The two Ellen's - Grammie Great and my Ellie Grace

six months ago today . . .

2009-04-10T15:59:00.000-07:00

I've heard it a million times - "my how the times does fly" . . . and that it does!!! It doesn't really seem possible that six months ago today we met our son, Jackson Christopher! God has sustained us in so many unbelievable ways within the last six months and how fitting that we are able to look back upon the goodness of God in our own lives on this Good Friday!! Today is the day that my Saviour, Jesus Christ, laid down His life for me!! His Heavenly Father, God, understands far more than I what it is like to lose a son - the amazing and miraculous thing is that Jesus did not stay in that grave - NO!! He was raised on that third day, Easter Sunday, so that I might be have life eternal! Yes, my heart has been broken in the last six months over the loss of my son, but I have hope because God was willing to sacrifice His one and only son for me and my sinfulness!!!

God has and continues to sustain us as we walk through each and every day! There have been some really hard days in the last six months, but all in all we are finding such joy in watching Ellie and Lily grow and learn and explore, we are clinging to Our Lord more and understanding His truths better because of all that He brought us through.

The girls often talk about Jackson and wonder what he would be doing right now - it tugs at my heart because I often wonder the same things, but we talk about how our little guy is rejoicing at the feet of God Almighty - none of us really fully understand that, but what joy and comfort it brings to our hearts.

Ellie and Flavio went to the driving range one day and on the way back she asked her daddy if he thought Jackson would've enjoyed playing golf! I'm pretty sure he would have!

We are blessed beyond measure!!!

One tooth down. . .

2009-02-15T13:05:00.000-08:00

the tooth fairy will be visiting tonight!!! Ellie is so excited ... and well, so are we!!!!

Happy Jackson Day!!

2009-02-11T14:40:00.000-08:00

That is what Ellie said when we were leaving the park today! So adorable! Today we did have a celebration in honor of our son, Jackson Christopher, (you can read more about him here) as today was our due date. I wasn't really sure how I would feel today . . . it has been rather surreal to have this day get closer and closer and not be preparing for a baby. I have to say that Lily has been the beneficiary of many, many hugs and snuggles -Ellie too, but Lily is still small enough to carry around and hold on my lap. She has filled my arms where I had hoped my son would be. As we appoached today - I could not help but think about God's goodness to us! He spared our son a life of pain, agony, surgeries, and a host of other things. He spared our hearts the torment of watching our son go through so much. I do not understand the fullness of His power and might, but I do know for certain that Our God is an Awesome and Mighty God - that His plan is far better than mine!!

We had decided that we would do something special on this day. I didn't want to be at home all day - I wanted to have something to look forward to. We told the girls that we were going to go to the park for a little celebration - we told them that today was the day that their brother was due to be born - honestly I think all they heard was park, play, cupcakes, balloons, and friends - well that sounded GREAT to them!!! And it was!!!

I made some special "J" cupcakes, got some blue balloons, packed and lunch, and off we went to the park. My parents joined us along with our sweet friend Abby and her two little ones. The kids played and played and then we had a little balloon launch for our sweet son!!!!

Flavio prayed this morning - thanking God for today - this is the day that the Lord planned from the beginning of time. He knew that today would be a day of sadness and joy and He also promises to never give His children more than we can handle - that is from point A to point Z and we can honestly say that He has been faithful. It is by His strength alone that we have been able to do anything, most of all Praise Him through this! No, we are not perfect and yes our hearts hurt, but God has been so gracious to put His arms around us and comfort us and He has used many of you as those tangible arms! We are forever grateful for our family and friends who have loved us so much - they have cried with us, laughed with us, thrown their arms around us, carried our burdens, and mostly just loved us! To name you all would take too long, but you know who you are (plus I want your reward to be in Heaven - what a blessed day that will be!!)

Over the past 4 months or so there have been many verses that have greatly ministered to my heart, but I would have to say that this one is quite tremendous:

1 Peter 5:10-11
And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
TO HIM BE THE DOMINION FOREVER AND EVER. AMEN.

overwhelmed

2009-02-01T22:54:00.000-08:00

This is more for me than anything else. . . I don't journal anywhere else, but here, so here goes...

For the past couple weeks I had this overwhelming feeling of gratitude. Gratitude for a few things, but mostly for my salvation! I, like so many of us, have gone about my life just plugging along - thankful for God's gracious gift in sending His son, but not always or completely understanding the depth of that gift (nor do I still . . .ahh Heaven!). But last Sunday as we were singing and praising God I was just filled with emotion and gratitude to My Heavenly Father for sending His son, Jesus Christ, to die for me! Me, a wretched, selfish, stubborn, undeserving sinner, and yet, He did!!! I don't know how else to put it but I am so thankful that God saw fit to save me from the snares of the devil and write my name in The Lambs Book of Life. What a tremendous gift!!!

I have also felt so overwhelmed by the relationships that God has put in my life. Each one is there for a specific purpose - not all known to me yet. Some are easier than others and yet, I am grateful for them all! I am particularly grateful for my parents and their tremendous love and support - their prayers and their practicality. What would I do without them!?!?! I don't even want to imagine. Last night I got to spend some time with two of my dearest friends - oh how I enjoy their sweet fellowship and their encouragement and their wisdom and just their laughs - such joy they bring to my heart! I hope they know how much I love them!!! There are just so many ways that I have been blessed - to name them all would take forever, but I just wanted/had to get my thoughts down on "paper". My heart is overflowing with gratitude, with emotion, with joy because of all that God has done for me and all those He has brought in to my life!! This morning we sang "And Can It Be" - I LOVE that hymn - I love most hymns - but this is at the top

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

He left His Father’s throne above
So free, so infinite His grace—
Emptied Himself of all but love,
And bled for Adam’s helpless race:
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

Still the small inward voice I hear,
That whispers all my sins forgiven;
Still the atoning blood is near,
That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

I could go on and on and may on another post, but . . . that is where my heart is right now! Overwhelmed with gratitude!

MIA

2009-01-25T20:01:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe it has been so long!!! I've had many things I have wanted to blog about in the past weeks, but by the time I sat down to do so . . . I forgot or just ran out of time! But here I am . . . back!!

I've had a lot of things on my heart lately, one of which is our blessed Bible Study! We have a great Bible Study and through the course of the last year we have all (maybe not ALL, but a large majority of us) been going through some "various trials". On Friday, Dan Gallagher gave us an update on his condition (he has aplastic anemia - go here to read more about what he has/is going through) and shared about suffering. It was so encouraging and awesome to hear what God is doing in he and Pam's life through their present suffering, but also God's perspective on suffering.

He had two points:
I. Suffering is designed by God for us - Job 2:7&10, 42:11

suffering is for my good and GOD'S glory - Romans 8:28
It's good to consider life and death - do I really long for Heaven or am I too tied to this world?
suffering should increase my longing for Heaven.

II. Suffering is a gift from God - it doesn't always seem that way as we are going through a trial and suffering, but it is!

Phil 1:29 tells us that we've been given a gift of suffering
I Peter 2:21 - suffering is a megaphone for God - we get an opportunity to tell others about our amazing God through suffering.
Phil 3:8&10 suffering brings fellowship
it is an opportunity to tell others about Christ!
the Body of Christ is able to come together to support and love.
God uses our suffering to conform us!
through our suffering we are able to comfort others

It has been so amazing, comforting, challenging, & indescribable to watch each member of our Bible study go through their trials. It has been a little over three months since we met Jackson and, as hard as it has been, it has been so awesome to see God use our suffering to change our lives, to help us be more compassionate, to show us areas in which we needed to change in our lives, to help us see what is important and what isn't, to help us long for heaven in a way that we hadn't previously done. Suffering is HARD, but as painful as it has been, I wouldn't change it for what God has done to me and my heart! Yes, I wish with ALL of my heart that I could be anticipating the birth of my first son, but I will have to wait a little while longer!

Thank you to those of you who continue to uphold us in prayer - we so appreciate it! I so appreciate those of you who have come up to us and asked us how we are doing and not the typical - hey, how ya doin'? kinda thing, but the really sincere, making eye contact -"How are you doing?" - that means a lot to us! To answer that question - we are doing good, but as February 11th approaches I find that I am having a hard time. Jackson was due on or around February 11th - it is weird to have that date getting closer and closer and knowing that he won't be coming . . . I'm not pregnant and anticipating the birth of a sweet baby. Thankfully I have these two, busy little girls that don't allow my mind to stay on that thought too long - Praise the Lord for Ellie and Lily - they are wonderful distractions!!

I pray that you are doing well and that if you are suffering right now you are leaning upon God Almighty!

Happy New Year!!

2009-01-11T20:35:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know . . . we are 11 days in to the new year and I am already running behind!! So why should 2009 be any different than the last 10, 15, 20+ years??!?! We had a great Christmas - it was nice and relaxing! It was so wonderful to have Ellie girl home for two whole weeks!!! Loved the late nights of doing whatever and the late mornings sleeping in!! I didn't relish our time at home as much as I should of before she went off to Kindergarten!

Here are some random pictures from the last few weeks . . . can't wait for the next day off! That's Friday!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!

Our Impromptu Cookie Decorating Party

Oh Tate!!!! :o)

A Tagliere Christmas - I know - it's a little blurry - not sure why . . . gotta figure that one out!

Aren't they so cute!!!
And my sweet little niece on the way!! Can't wait to meet her!

Are we the greatest aunts and uncles ever???? We, meaning all of their aunts and uncles, got them a drum set, guitar, and set of fun little instruments!! We figure Parker will be on the drums, Alyssa on the guitar, Reagan on the cymbals, Laura on the piano, and Danny . . . Lead Vocals of course!!!

Ahh sweet!

class Christmas party

2008-12-24T16:07:00.000-08:00

Last Friday Ellie's class had their Christmas Party - the kids had so much fun decorating "gingerbread" houses and sugar cookies - neither of which, too me looked very edible, but the kids could hardly wait to bite in to their overly frosted and decorated cookies!

visiting Santa

2008-12-24T15:54:00.000-08:00

We went to see Santa last week - the girls had so much fun telling him just what they wanted.
Here it is . . .
Ellie asked for a candy cane and Hungry Hungry Hippo
Lily asked for a candy cane and Tinkerbell band-aids!
We can't complain with that!!!
Merry Christmas to all!

update on Grandma

2008-12-20T23:05:00.000-08:00

I have been so bad at blogging lately . . . please forgive me!!! I have been meaning to give an update on Grandma . . . she was in the hospital for about 10 days and finally went home last Friday!!! Yeah!!! She is now at Auntie Pat's house. She has a full-time nurse with her which certainly puts all of our minds at ease - knowing that there is a medical professional with her. I am not certain how long she will have the nurses . . . I think it is just until she gets over this infection. Please continue to pray for her. She is a strong woman, but she isn't used to relying upon so many medications and doctors and such.
We are so blessed to have her in our lives and treasure her greatly!!

grandma cook

2008-12-05T20:10:00.001-08:00

Hi there!
If you would take a minute and pray for my sweet grandma - she ended up in the hospital early Wednesday morning. She was having a very difficult time breathing and my parents ended up calling 911 and having her transported to Henry Mayo. They were hoping to have her transported down to Encino-Tarzana near her doctors, but there wasn't any room and grandma seems to be happy where she is. My aunt drove down on Thursday to help with watching grandma. We are so blessed to have such a terrific family and so many who are willing to drop everything and run. Please pray for grandma - she seems to be getting better - as long as she doesn't do anything she is fine (and by "anything" - I mean brush her teeth). Please pray that she gets her strength back and can return home as quickly as possible.

It was so cute - my mom called me Wednesday morning to tell what had happened whilst we slept - I got off the phone and told the girls, then called Flav to let him know. As I was talking to him I looked over and saw the girls sitting at the table praying for their "bammy bape" (grammy great).

I will keep you posted. Thank you for your prayers!

never a dull moment

2008-12-04T14:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the girls and I headed down to Palm Desert - Flavio is working down here all week, so we thought we'd skip a few days of school and enjoy the desert. We went to dinner and returned to our friend's house - Steve, the friend, suggested that I park my car in their driveway and that Flavio park his car (actually his parents' car) on the street in front of their house. No problem. Did that. Flav and the girls went to bed around 8:45 and at about 9:15 Steve and I heard this loud sound - kinda like a trash truck going down the street. We went outside to see what happened . . . and well . . . the car that was parked in front of the house was now in the neighbors driveway!!!!!!! In the middle of the street was a man, obviously intoxicated, holding his chest. His $70k F-150 was next to my in-laws Tahoe. According to this gentleman - "the car just jumped out in front of him!" and he told the police officer that he was only going 15mph! That's funny!!! Not only did he propel the Tahoe at least a car length and a half, but he knocked over our friends very substantial mailbox - we are talking all concrete!!! Solid and HUGE!!!! Praise the Lord we hadn't gotten home any later - and weren't getting the girls out of the car. The PGA West patrol came by along with the Sheriff who cuffed the guy and took him off to jail - I've never seen someone handcuffed before.
Well, that was our fun night - hopefully the rest of the week will be uneventful!!!

Happy Birthday Alyssa - a day late!!! Please forgive me!!

2008-11-20T22:35:00.000-08:00

Well, true to form I am a day late and a dollar short! Yesterday was my niece's sixth birthday!!!! Where does the time go??? Although she is only 16 weeks older than my dear Ellie - there are times when I am fairly sure she is much older - she is so sweet and loving and the most mature little thing I have ever met and I mean that in a good way! She cracks us up with her matter-of-fact way of getting things done and her maturity and understanding of the things around her!

We love this little girl to death and have so enjoyed watching her grow and grow! My girls look forward to any opportunity to play with their sweet cousin Alyssa!!! Lily is counting down the days until the Birthday Party - every day I am asked, several times mind you, if today is "lyssa's birt'day paaty?"

We hope you had a fantastic birthday and look forward to celebrating with you on Saturday!!!!
Love you sweet girl!

sweet conversation

2008-11-19T16:00:00.000-08:00

After Lily and I dropped Ellie off at school this morning we were out running a few errands and we had this little conversation:

Me: "Lily, did you have sweet dreams last night?"
Lily: "yes"
Me: "What did you dream about?"
Lily: couldn't understand
Me: "What did you dream about?
Lily: "'bout God."
Me: "Really! What did you dream about God?"
Lily: "Dat he waz playin' wif Jackson."
Ahhh! Made me cry!

I love that little girl - and how right she is!!!

sweet feet

2008-11-09T23:11:00.001-08:00

fridays

2008-11-07T15:11:00.000-08:00

Four weeks ago today we met our son, Jackson Christopher - it is crazy - I'm looking at the clock right now and realizing that exactly four weeks ago I laid eyes on my son! In some ways it seems like the time has gone by rapidly and in other ways it seems as though time stopped on October 10th!!! I was thinking last night how everyone looks forward to Fridays - they have taken on a whole new meaning for me . . . a day which is a reminder of my son - not that every other day isn't a reminder, but for the past four weeks, without fail my eyes have gone to the clock right around this time - I don't know why, but they have! I go back to that room in the hospital, I see my baby boy lying in the bassinet where my two daughters once laid kicking and flailing around - he was still, he was perfect, but he was still.

This week has been more difficult than others, I don't know exactly why, but it has. I've found myself weeping and can't exactly put my finger on the reason, I just know that my heart aches for my little boy! And just the time I start to get sad my sweet girls do something so silly and funny that my tears of sadness turn to tears of joy! Over and over I praise God that He gave me two beautifully healthy girls to ease my heart just a bit, to make me laugh, to hug and kiss! They are truly a blessing beyond words!!!

I know my heart aches and yet, I can't begin to imagine what our friends The Kostjuks are going through right now - tomorrow will be a celebration of their sweet Reese's life - last week she went home to be with Jesus! She got the best birthday present ever - to be in the arms of God!!! Please pray for them and their families as the service is tomorrow morning. We rejoice with them that Reese is looking upon the face of God and that she is perfect and healthy, but we hurt with them as no parent ever wants to say goodbye to their baby!!!

DISNEYLAND!!!!!!!

2008-11-06T15:59:00.001-08:00

Yesterday the girls and I, along with Tilly, headed down the The Happiest Place on Earth!!! We hadn't been since our passes ran out in the spring. I picked Ellie up a little bit early from school and told her that we were going on an adventure - they tried to figure out where we were going the entire time - it was so cute! I love surprising them. Although, Lily was pretty sure that we were going to either Chuck E. Cheese, McDonald's, or Disneyland. They got so excited when we pulled into the parking structure.

We had a great day - there were almost no lines and we were able to go on several rides. The highlight for me was taking Ellie and Lily on Matterhorn! They loved it!!!! Many more Disneyland adventures to come!!! Can't wait!

BTW, the pics are in reverse order, but I'm too tired to change them right now! enjoy!

uploading

2008-11-02T23:40:00.000-08:00

Is anyone else having trouble uploading pics to blogspot??? I've been trying and keep getting an error code!!!
If you have any tips leave me a comment.

today

2008-10-26T12:58:00.000-07:00

The message this morning was so amazingly applicable! Tom, our Sunday School pastor was talking about joy amidst trials and struggles - wow!!! He might as well of said that this is for the Castro family, but why don't the rest of you listen in! I'm sure that there are many others in our group who are going through their own trials, this just happened to hit so close to home for us.

I Peter 1:3-6

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials

Tom was saying that Christians can greatly rejoice because of three things found in this text:
1) God grants us joy

2) God guarantees joy

3) God guards joy

We have seen, first hand, God showing His mercy to us and we have been able to experience true, lasting joy.

I've been thinking much about trials and what God gives to us and was thinking about Job - a precious man from the Bible - he was a wealthy man, he had a wonderful family, had many animals - by the world's standard he "had it all" - in a moment it was all taken from him!! Job 1:20-22 (after finding out all that he had was gone) "Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.' In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong." At the end of chapter 2 (verses 9&10) he says this: "Then his wife said to him, 'Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.' But he said to her, 'You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?' In all this Job did not sin with his lips."

The example of Job has been an amazing one! He is right - why should we only expect good from God? God is good, but without trials we wouldn't know what we really believed! We can say that we love God and believe that there is a God, but when you walk through fire that is when you have to "put your money where your mouth is" so to speak!

Do you know what you believe? Why do you believe it? Many people believe in God - do you know that James 2:19 says You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe - and shudder.

If I have learned anything from the life and death of our son, it is that there is no time like the present to make yourselves right before God Almighty, Creator, Redeemer, and Saviour!

Jude 24-25

Now to him sho is able to keep you from stunbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

grace and joy

2008-10-25T20:18:00.000-07:00

When I started my blog last year I decided to name it after my girls . . . little did we know that their middle names would be so meaningful!! God was gracious to give them to us and they have provided immense joy . . . but today, those names have so much meaning - more than I could have ever imagined. According to dictionary.com grace means "the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God" and joy means "the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation". It is because of the grace that God has bestowed upon us that we are able to express true joy through the loss of our son, Jackson.

In the past two weeks, actually since we found out about Jackson's initial heart condition, we have been asked how we are doing - our answer has varied slightly - today we have moments that are harder than others and moments that are really good, moments of joy and moments of tears, but all in all we are doing good! I was talking to a friend today and she was asking how we were doing and before I could fully answer she said probably as good as can be expected and I thought for a second and said no, I think we are doing better than that - only because we have hope in God. Our Jackson is not here, but he is perfect with Our Lord, the Creator of all things - the Creator of sweet Jackson!!!

I got a call yesterday morning from my doctor, Dr. Frields. It was two weeks from meeting our son. He called to tell us that he had just received the preliminary report from the autopsy. He is still waiting for results from the heart and kidney, but what we did find out is that Jackson suffered from triplody - a condition where he had an additional set of chromosomes. If you think back to high school biology you will remember that we each have 46 chromosomes - if there is any variation in that there are liable to be some problems - well Jackson had 69 chromosomes!!! My doctor said that babies with triplody don't usually make it past the first trimester and rarely survive outside of the womb for very long. I am grateful that our son survived as long as he did and that we were able to meet him - it was not how I had wanted to meet him, but there is something very comforting to this mama to have a face and a name attached to this precious baby in heaven!

You can ask us how we are doing - you may get tears, but that's ok with me! I love to talk about my sweet little boy and would love to share his footprints with you. Thank you for praying for us - we are completely overwhelmed at God's goodness. Jeremiah 29:11 says, 'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. God's Word is true - I can tell you first hand that when He promises to never give His children more than they can handle - He means it - so, I know that His plan is to give me a future and a hope! That is AWESOME!! Unlike me, what God says He WILL do - I may flake on you, I may forget, I will disappoint you, but GOD NEVER WILL!!

All that to say, it is because of God's grace that we have joy - true joy!!!

a week . . .

2008-10-18T14:48:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, it was a week - a week from meeting our first son and saying goodbye to him. It was quite a day, October 10th, 2008 - and one week later we are still being carried by Our Precious Lord and Savior! I know, without a doubt, that there is NO WAY on earth we could have gone through the past week without God sustaining us, without your prayers! God is good! I cannot say it enough and yet I don't want it to become trite, but HE IS GOOD to His children!!!

We have been blessed beyond measure - we have two beautiful little girls, I have a wonderful husband who is so caring and loving, we have family who has surrounded us, and we have tremendous friends. Over the last week we have received meals, flowers, cards, phone calls, emails, and hugs - thank you seems so insufficient for the immense gratitude we have for all of your thoughtfulness. Thank you, thank you, thank you for loving us and our family so much - we are blessed and tremendously grateful! We pray that God will bless you richly for being so compassionate towards us! I honestly wish that we weren't the recipients of such kindness right now - that would mean that we were still awaiting the birth of our precious son, but we know that God had other plans for Jackson - we know that with our heads, but our hearts still ache for him. My arms ache to hold a little boy - I will have to wait to get to heaven to see my precious son - I know he is with Our Lord God Creator, but I selfishly want him here!

Lamentations 3:21-23
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
"The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."

We love the Seeds family worship cd's and my girls love the song "Crushed" - I LOVE the verses

Psalm 34:18-19
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions on the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all!

God alone has seen us through this week and will continue to carry us through the weeks ahead, He alone deserves the glory and honor for any strength that we may show. Because of Him we have been able to take Ellie to school, go to the market, go to the pumpkin patch, and do other relatively normal things. I am so grateful for our girls who "force us" to continue with a somewhat normal schedule.

We had a great surprise yesterday, God was good to plan it for then. We were going to have lunch with our friend Joyce and her two precious daughters Jessie (Ellie calls her Princess Jessie) and Amanda - we were looking forward to seeing them and hugging them - Ellie could hardly wait she was so excited. They came and along with them they brought a HUGE surprise - our dear friends, Walter and Carol Crutchfield and their daughter Rachel - I was blown away - they had flown in from Arizona to see us!! I still can't believe that they were here! It was good - I needed that - I needed to see them, hug them, and cry with them. They have had a tremendous impact upon my life over the past 20+ years. Thank you guys for coming - it was just what we needed!!! I could never fully nor properly express how much I love all of you! God knew that I would need you guys yesterday - yet another show of His loving faithfulness to His children!!! GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

Ephesians 3:20-21
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think,
according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in
Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Jackson Christopher

2008-10-12T17:32:00.001-07:00

I don't want to forget a single thing from the last few days and at the same time I wish they had never occurred - Flavio told my mom Friday evening, "this was one of the most difficult days of my life....but I wouldn't trade this one for anything."

I don't journal, but I do blog, so this is probably more for me than anyone else . . . so please bear with me as a mother shares the birth of her precious son, perfect, complete, lacking in nothing!

Thurday, October 9th was our follow-up appointment for the perinatologist, we were, naturally, running late :o). It was Flavio, Lily and I, my mom had taken Ellie to school and was going to work in her classroom for me since we had this appointment. God had been preparing my heart in some way - I knew that there was something wrong. I had even toldFlavio the night before that I just felt like something wasn't right - I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something amiss. . . little did we know. We were ushered in to the doctor's office and sat on the table to prepare for the ultrasound. As soon as he started I KNEW something was wrong - if you have ever seen an ultrasound picture - there is movement - we saw none, but he didn't say anything - he went about taking a few measurements - I couldn't really see the numbers, but I could tell that they seemed to be off from how far along I was. Then he measured the femur - it was measuring about 19 weeks . . . I knew that wasn't right - I even asked Dr. Mullins, "did that say 19 weeks?". At that point he asked if he could speak to me alone, since we had Lily, again I KNEW something was really wrong. I can't remember if he said it first or if I did, but it was apparent that there wasn't a heartbeat! I was completely at a loss for words. It is one thing to "think something is wrong" and a complete other to KNOW something is wrong!!! We knew that this was a possibility, but again, not the same when it actually happens! It was a feeling I pray I will never have to know again!!! The doctor eventually asked if it wasok to bring my husband and baby back in - he was very sensitive to the fact that Lily was with us - I thought that was very thoughtful! I toldFlavio - we cried!! Up to this point we didn't know the sex of our sweet baby, I wanted to know, NOW! Dr. Mullins told us what I had expected, it was a little boy! That was hard!!! I love my girls to no end, but the thought of a son was just . . . heartbreaking!!!! I desired a sweet little boy, but know that God needed our precious Jackson more than we did is of immense comfort! The doctor asked what we wanted to do - we said that we wanted to see Dr.Frields (my OB) as soon as possible - he wouldn't let us leave his office until he had spoken with Dr. Frields - he just wanted to make sure that Dr. Frields and his office were aware of what was going on and would usher us immediately in.

We left in a haze! And yet, there was always the grace of God around us - I can't tell you when or how, but we knew that God was supporting us through this! I was immediately thankful that God had, in some small way, prepared me. He is so gracious!!

Dr. Mullins' office is at St. Joseph's in Burbank so we got in our cars (Flavio was going to go straight to work after the appt.) and Flav headed down Alameda - I wasn't so sure what he was doing - he found a shopping center, left his car there so he could be with me and Lily! I was so thankful for that! I didn't want to drive to Glendale Adventist Medical Center (GAMC) by myself and I suppose he didn't either! We had talked before about what to name our baby and once we found out that he had a heart condition and may be in need of some help I had toldFlav that it was really important to me that our baby's name meant something - so on the way to
GAMC I told Flav that I wanted to find out what name meant something along the lines of a gift from God.

We arrived at Dr. Frields' office - if you know anything about him he is an excellent doctor and therefore he is BUSY (understatement of the century) - they were so kind and rushed us right in so we didn't have to wait with everyone else. Our doctor came in - we talked - He is one of the many gifts that God granted us! What a blessing to have a doctor who fears God! He told us to go over the Labor and Delivery where we would get started on all the things that were to take place.

God took care of EVERY detail - things that we would have never thought of - one was in the form of Flavio's best friend Jon. Jon and his family moved to Chicago a few years back - he was here for two days on business, Wednesday and Thursday!!! That was not a coincidence!!! God planned that - my husband needed his dear friend! Along with Jon, Heath came by - what a blessing to have these dear friends by our side at this time - we did our fair share of laughing and crying together! We love them so dearly!

Another precious gift was our nurse on Thursday - Bethany! She had been one of my nurses with Lily - her husband is studying to be a pastor and attends The Master's Seminary! Again, not coincidental that she had had to call in sick on both of her regular days because her little girl wasn't feeling well and when they asked her to come in on Thursday she was available! She was awesome!!

Because I had delivered Ellie Grace via c-section and Lily was a vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean) we had a choice to make - how was I going to deliver? (Side note - in the state of California if you deliver after 20 weeks it is considered a stillborn - we had a lot to learn.) This was a rather difficult decision to make - do we take the one that would result in a quick birth and yet have a long recovery or do we take the potentially longer approach of inducing labor (this could take anywhere from 6 hours to 3 days!) with the shorter recovery. Flavio was up for the c-section he didn't want to see me in any pain and wanted to "be done" and move on to the next step - I was torn! I could see his side, but I didn't really want to have to endure the after effects of major surgery. My dad had the idea that we should start with the induction and see what happened - my doctor had said we could change our minds at any time if we wanted - so that seemed to be the way to go. After about an hour or so of deliberating we asked our sweet nurse, Bethany, to order up the medication and get the anesthesiologist here ASAP! Under the circumstances I wanted to feel NO pain!!!

Again, we could see God's grace abounding! My cousin, Susan, who is really more like my sister and best friend, was able to be there the entire time - she and her husband have five children - her parents and brother and sister-in-law and nephews were in Europe leaving her with no babysitter - until she called her husband and found out that he was on his way home for the day and going to be home on Friday as well!!! Is God awesome or what?!?!?! She was with us the entire time!

One of the most precious moments during this entire time was right before our baby was born - Dr. Frields had said it would be about 30 minutes longer - my parents, Susan, and Flavio gathered around me and my dad prayed - a precious prayer from a father watching his daughter and son-in-law go through something so excruciating and the prayer of a sweet grandfather waiting to meet his grandson - that was a special time! Susan began singing "How Great Thou Art" - a time that I will treasure in my heart forever!

On Friday, October 10th at about 2:15pm we welcomed our first son Jackson Christopher Castro! He was, in our eyes, PERFECT! He had ten fingers and ten perfect tiny toes! He was PERFECT! He was 9 1/2 inches long and weighed 10 ounces. He was a tiny, perfectly put together little boy!

We are grateful to Our God and Father for giving us 5 1/2 months with our Little Jackson and praise Him that he is running on streets of gold rather than suffering here on earth!

This was awesome . . . Flavio had liked the name Jackson - I had constantly said it was too popular! I knew that the name "jackson" meant "son of Jack", but get this - Jack is derived from John and guess what John means??? Given by God! So amazing! See, God took care of EVERY detail! And Christopher means Christ Bearer! His name seemed so perfect! God planned this pregnancy and not us! We weren't planning to get pregnant at that time, but God's ways are higher than ours - His plan is perfect!!

I am sure that I have forgotten some things - maybe another blessing from the Lord!

We don't quite know how to thank all of you who have been and continue pray for us, who have called, emailed, sent text messages, or come in person - you have a special place in our hearts and are so grateful for each and every one of you! What a gift you are to our family!

Psalm 139:13-16
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there were none of them.

We do not know why God chose to take our son home with Him, but we DO know that His ways are higher than ours and that He gave us our little Jackson as a gift, for a time! Our prayer is that, if you do not have a personal relationship with the God of the Universe, Almighty God, that YOU WOULD!!! Life is short and we have but one opportunity, this lifetime, to choose to serve God or not to! If you choose not to serve God then your eternity is bleak! It is separation from a merciful God and it is eternity in Hell! If you choose to know God, honor God, serve God, have a relationship with God, then your eternity is bright! It is an eternity in Heaven! John 3:16 is clear that God sent His one and only son, Jesus Christ, to this earth to die for OUR sins - yes, ALL OF OUR SINS! We are all sinners! Romans tells us that we have all sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God! We all deserve death, but God, in His graciousness, sent His son, Jesus, as our sacrifice - to take away OUR sins! That is awesome! There could be nothing greater than to know because of our sons death you have questioned your eternity and chosen to make Jesus Christ the Lord of your life! If you have ANY questions about the Word of God and what it has to say about your eternity we would be honored to talk to you!

Romans 11:33-36
Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscurtable his ways!
"For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?"
"Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?"
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
TO HIM BE THE GLORY FOREVER. AMEN.

Romans 8:28
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Thank you for praying for our family!

Castro Family Update

2008-10-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

Hello, this is Lynn Leonard with an update on my precious friends, the Castro family. Yesterday Flavio, Michelle, and Lily went to the perinatologist for their next scheduled visit. During this visit, the doctor told them that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. After hearing this sad news, they waited to meet with Dr. Frields. Since Michelle is 5 1/2 months pregnant, she will have to deliver the baby. She was induced last night at Glendale Adventist at around 9:00 pm. As of right now (Friday afternoon), she has not yet delivered, and is progressing slowly but surely.

Even though they are obviously grieving, it was absolutely amazing to hear them talk yesterday. Michelle spoke a lot about the peace she had from the Lord and just the assurance that God is in control, even in this. She was rejoicing in the fact that their little baby boy is already in Heaven with Jesus, and "the streets in Heaven are so much more wonderful than the streets down here!" (her words!) It is evident that they want to use this sad and unexpected situation to bring glory to God by recognizing that their comfort and strength is through Him alone. It was such a testimony and an example to me and I know it will be to many others too.

Please pray that Michelle's delivery will go quickly and as pain-free as possible. The doctor was supposed to be giving her another dose of the inducing medication this afternoon to help speed up the process. Please keep them in your prayers as they go through the next few days. Also please pray for their little girls, Ellie and Lily, as it will probably be difficult for them to understand, but again, Flavio and Michelle are such an example of God's grace and strength to them too.

Psalm 62:1-2 "For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken."

39 years!!!!!!!

2008-10-04T20:34:00.000-07:00

Today is my parents' 39th Wedding Anniversary! They have been a tremendous example to us of Godliness, faithfulness, devotion, love, and so much more! We are so blessed to have wonderful role models!

We love you mom and dad! Thanks for letting us help you celebrate your anniversary in Lone Pine - nothing but the best for you guys!!!!

how are we doing?

2008-09-26T22:51:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to do this post for a while, but time has gotten away from me . . . oh that dreaded time!

Anyways, we get asked this question a lot and don't mind getting it one bit, but I thought I'd answer it here. It is a very obvious question and one that I have asked others or thought to ask others going through "various trials" - How are they doing??? How are they getting through the day - my mind wanders to our dear friends the Kostjuks - and I think I have a small understanding of how they are doing what they are doing and how they are going through their days - they are carried by the grace of God!

We are doing good! We don't feel like we are surviving or just getting by, but honestly we are doing good! The fact that our baby appears to have a significant heart defect isn't controlling our days and we would say that it is by the Grace of God!!! It is because of our dear brothers and sisters in Christ who are faithfully upholding us in prayer - God is answering those prayers - we have a peace about all that is going on! That is not to say that God is going to heal our baby, He may well do that and that would be to His Glory, but we know that God is in control and we are wide-eyed aware of all that has been shared with us by our doctors, but are choosing to trust wholly in Our Lord for His outcome.

We cannot thank you enough for praying for us, our baby, and our precious girls! We are tremendously grateful! Our prayer has been and still is that God would be glorified in all that is done here!

What is next for us?
We are actually heading out of town tomorrow - for a week!!! Yeah!!! Can't wait!
We will meet with the Perinatologist on October 9th for a follow-up visit.
We meet with my OB on October 15th for my monthly visit and to get his take on what was said and done the week before.

We are so blessed to be loved by so many!

maternity shoot

2008-09-25T22:58:00.001-07:00

This week I got to take pictures of The Swihart Family - they are expecting their third baby and first boy! We had a great time . . . here's a teaser - check out the rest of my personal faves at www.graceandjoyphotoblog.blogspot.com

Happy Birthday Danny!

2008-09-23T19:03:00.000-07:00

You'd think I had a more recent picture - I'm sure I do, I just don't have the time to weed through my thousands of pictures . . . he still looks the same - Ellie has changed just a bit!

Ok, I am a terrible sister!!! Yesterday was Danny's birthday - I won't mention how old he is in an effort to protect myself! :o) Anyways, the day got away from me and here I am at 7 o'clock in the evening on the day AFTER his birthday.

If you know Danny you know what a special individual he is - I mean that seriously and not in the "special needs" way it seems to have come out! Shall I try to dig my foot out even more? Ok, I'll just go on . . . to be honest I didn't always get along with Danny while we were growing up . . . apparently (according to him) I liked to "mother him" - I have absolutely NO recollection of said events, but be that as it may - we had our ups and downs. Fast forward a few decades and add some maturity (on both ends) and Danny is a man I feel honored to call my brother and friend! He is a godly man, husband, and father - it is a true joy to watch him with not just his own children, but with mine - he is so sweet and tender and caring and TOTALLY CRAZY!!! Let's just say he freaked me out a bit this summer as he was hurling my precious Ellie Girl into the swimming pool - she survived . . . BARELY! :o)

At the risk of being entirely too sappy . . . I love you Danny and, although I tried desperately over the years to pawn you off on any unsuspecting stranger, I am so happy that you are my brother!!! I hope that your birthday was as "Special" as you are!! (take that however you want!!!)

ps - did you notice . .. I didn't elaborate on how much I love Peter for his birthday - he just got a picture - so you must be my favorite! :o)

Dad's Day at Ellie's School

2008-09-21T14:33:00.000-07:00

Friday was Dynamic Dad's Day at school! Ellie was so excited to have her daddy come and play games. I offered to volunteer so that I could also be there to snap a few pictures!

update

2008-09-18T16:19:00.000-07:00

Hey there faithful family and friends! Thank you for your prayers and keep 'em comin!

We went to my doctor today - Dr. Frields - and, yet again, the baby was not cooperating and didn't really allow us to get any good pictures. He mentioned that around 22 weeks is really a good time to start getting more accurate pictures of the baby's heart - I am 20 1/2 weeks. He was encouraging - he let us know that this type of heart defect is quite common and easily fixed! Praise the Lord for that! I contend, if surgery of some sort is what needs to take place after our baby is born it will be far harder on us than it will ever be on our son or daughter!

As of now our hospital, Glendale Adventist, is equipped to deliver our baby! Yeah! Generally what happens, according to Dr. Frields, is that once the baby is born he/she will be assessed and sent home with us. We would then bring our little one back for follow-ups until the time they have determined for a surgery.

Dr. Frields was so good to remind us that it is God who is in charge and it is He who has created this little one! We feel so blessed to have a godly and skilled doctor on our side - in addition to God Almighty!!!

I can't rave enough about my doctor - he was so sweet and told us that we could come in as often as we wanted for ultrasounds to see the baby and how he/she is doing! We thought that was really kind and awesome!

So what happens next?

We will see the perinatologist in 3 weeks and from there will, most likely, be referred to a fetal cardiologist for a fetal EKG.
We see Dr. Frields again in 4 weeks - we opted to wait.

My brother asked a good question - he wanted to know what we were telling our girls - tonight we talked to Ellie and Lily (although I'm pretty sure Lily doesn't have any idea what is going on) and told them that the baby seems to be a little sick. We told them that we were trusting God and the doctors to see what we will need to do. Our prayer is that they see God work in a mighty way - that they see that He IS a God who answers prayers and that is concerned about all things!

Thank you again for your continued prayerful support! We certainly feel God working in our lives and know that our peace is ONLY from Our God Almighty!

overwhelmed, humbled, blessed, thankful, and so much more. . .

2008-09-15T20:03:00.000-07:00

Words cannot begin to describe how completely overwhelmed I am by the outpouring of love, support, and prayers we have received since first letting everyone know about our precious little baby! There has not been a day that's gone by without several emails, messages on my phone, posts on my facebook wall, or comments left on my blog!!! I read someone's blog the other day where they talked about five things they were thankful for . . . with each passing day I find myself overwhelmed with thankfulness. This is what I'm thankful for, in no particular order:

The Body of Christ - how does one go through a trial, large or small, without the Body of Christ holding them up in prayer???
My family!!!!!!!!!!!! They have been just as awesome as I thought they would be! Thank you for helping us carry this burden to the Lord in prayer!
My dear, sweet friends, who don't have to be here for us, but choose to! Thank you!!!!
The Word of God!!!! What a source of encouragement it is to hear the Scriptures! Here are a few of the verses that have touched me . . .

1Peter 5:6-11. "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him because He cares for you. Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

Philippians 4:6-9 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things; and the God of peace shall be with you."

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." (1 Pet 1:6-7)

Romans 8:18
"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

Romans 8:26
"Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

Romans 8:37-39
"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death not life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God who is in Christ Jesus our Lord"
I am truly thankful that there is nothing that I can do right now - that God has made it abundantly clear that this is HIS and NOT mine at all!!! He has given us this baby for a reason unknown to us, but I can truly say, today, I am thankful for the opportunity to grow and watch my Creator at work! The peace that passes all understanding is truly at work here!
I am thankful that Ellie is in school and that our days are slightly busier than they have been in the past allowing less time for me to be at home wondering WHAT IS GOING ON????

I am sure that there is far more that I am thankful for, but for know that is all my little (cold-filled) head can produce!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for loving us enough to pray for us!

Trials

2008-09-14T16:08:00.000-07:00

It is so amazing to see how God works . . . at Bible Study on Friday night Rick Holland, the college pastor from our church, came to speak. He taught on Sorrows, Sufferings, and Sovereignty! Wow!!! So, right where I am and exactly what I needed to hear. And then this morning our dear Pastor/Teacher, John MacArthur, was sick, an incredibly abnormal occurance, but Rick spoke on James 1:2-12

2Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
3knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
4And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
5But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
6But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.
7For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord,
8being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
9But the brother of humble circumstances is to glory in his high position;
10and the rich man is to glory in his humiliation, because like flowering grass he will pass away.
11For the sun rises with a scorching wind and withers the grass; and its flower falls off and the beauty of its appearance is destroyed; so too the rich man in the midst of his pursuits will fade away.
12Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

I don't quite understand, but there is a sense of comfort here - know that, Yes, without a doubt, we will encounter trials of all types - big, small, and everything in between, BUT, as a Christian, I know that God is in control and He has a purpose behind it! His purpose is that Flavio and I, through this trial of our baby, will be drawn closer to Him and that we will be refined! That our relationship with Our God would be more personal! He will provide EVERYTHING that we need to get through this current trial! What a blessing and encouragement that is to me!!!!

I am grateful for an Awesome God who is in control of ALL things! I am also so grateful for the family and friends who are praying and who have either left a sweet message on my phone or emailed or hugged us at church or just been there! Thank you! We love you all more than you know! Thank you for loving us and our unborn baby enough to pray for us!

Baby #3

2008-09-13T16:32:00.000-07:00

I wanted to let you know what is happening with our little baby #3. I am nearly 20 weeks pregnant (tomorrow) and would like to share with you an email that I sent out to our family and friends - if you didn't get it, I apologize, I didn't mean it personally just must not have your email address.

Dear sweet family and friends,
Where to begin?

Ephesians 3:17b-21
". . .that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have the strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power within us to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen.

Ephesians 4:4-7
"There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call - one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift."

Yesterday, Flavio and I had an appointment with a specialist - a perinatologist, two weeks ago I had awakened in the middle of the night to some extreme bleeding - we called the doctor, he told us to come in asap! We did, the ER ran tests, he did an ultrasound and just wasn't satisfied with what we were finding - which was NOTHING! I am so thankful for a very wise and godly doctor - he referred me to a perinatologist (just a doctor who specializes in babies around the time of birth) just to "make sure that we weren't missing anything." First we had to meet with a genetic counselor - it is her job to tells us all of our options with regards to tests one of which being the amniocentesis - which we declined - knowing that God created this precious baby before the foundations of the earth there is not a single thing we are going to do with the results and there is a 1 in 200 chance of miscarriage!!! Anyways, we were then sent in to have an ultrasound with the doctor - he did a very thorough exam and his findings were this:

1) our baby has a fairly large hole in its heart - it is called a ventricular septal defect (vsd) - it is a hole in the wall that separates the right and left ventricles of the heart. If the hole were small there would be a good chance that it would heal itself prior to birth, but since this hole seems to be larger it is most likely something that would need to be taken care of after birth.

2) the right kidney does not appear to be functioning at all and has a few cysts. How the cysts have gotten there I am not sure - the good news is that the left kidney is working great! And, praise the Lord, we can function perfectly fine with one working kidney. There is plenty of amniotic fluid around the baby - another proof that the left kidney is functioning as it should!

3) due to the fact that there are two abnormalities in our baby our chances (according to the doctor) are higher for a chromosomal abnormality - meaning, giving birth to a baby with either Down's Syndrome or Trisomy 18. With Down's they generally find that the skull is thicker, however, the doctor said that the thickness of our baby's skull is right where it should be!

Having said and shared all of this, we know WITHOUT A DOUBT, that the God we serve is a mighty God! He spoke the world into existence and He can, if He so chooses, heal our baby! We also know, that He has promised to never leave us (His children) or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6 & 8)! We also know, that He brings trials into our lives for a reason - to refine us and bring us closer to Him (James 1:2-5). We also know that He will never give us more than we can handle and He will give us the grace to get through it (Ephesians 3:20-21)! God, is far more knowing than we, and He knows that this is a trial that we can handle - I am thoroughly humbled by that fact!!!!! We also know that the prayer of a righteous man avails much (James 5:16b) and that when two or more are gathered together He is there in their midst (Matthew 18:19-20). We also know that God cares more for us and this baby than we could ever comprehend, for that we are so abundantly thankful!!!

We know all of this and yet our hearts ache for our baby - as you can imagine the past day and a half have been a whirlwind of emotions! We walked in to the doctor's office expecting a "well, all looks fine. have a great pregnancy" and came out with this! We are still processing all of this and yet, we come to Our Heavenly Father and to you, our most precious family and friends, asking that you bow before the Throne of Grace on our behalf and the behalf of our baby.

I can think of a few specific prayer requests - if God puts it on your heart, please pray for us.
1) That our baby would be healed and perfect!
2) If God, so chooses to keep our baby with a hole in its heart, that we would give us the grace and wisdom to go through this.
3) that we would lean upon the Lord - taking our strength from Him and Him alone!
4) that we would be wise in what to share with our girls
5) That God would be honored and glorified in ALL that transpires and that there might be souls that are won for Him through this! I can think of nothing greater than knowing He used us to advance His Kingdom!

TO GOD BE THE GLORY GREAT THINGS HE HATH DONE!!!!!!
We love you all more than you will ever know!

Love,
Flavio and Michelle

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Happy Birthday Peter!

2008-09-10T19:57:00.001-07:00

I'm sure I have a more recent and better picture of my little brother, but I can't really locate one at the moment - here he is, with his wonderful wife (girlfriend at the time) holding my sweet Ellie Grace!
I love you Pete! I hope you know how much I love you and what a great man I think you have become! I am so proud of you!
Love, me

Please Pray!

2008-09-07T15:51:00.000-07:00

Please pray for our friends the Kostjuks - there sweet daughter has been in the hospital since birth - apparently they got a call from the hospital last night and things weren't good - you can go to their blog here to read the whole story.
Please pray for God's will in this situation!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLAVIO!!!!

2008-09-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

Today is Flavio's birthday and he got to go in to Ellie's class and read a story. She was so excited about it.
We love you Flav!!!

labor day with great friends

2008-09-02T14:01:00.000-07:00

I have been blessed with some wonderful friends and yesterday (while Flav was working) we spent the day with two such friends and their kids. I love getting together with Abby and Lynn - they are so much fun and our kids play so nicely together! We went swimming and came back to this amazing lunch that Lynn's mom just "threw together!!!" Now that school has started we have to grab any and all opportunities to get together - this was a perfect one! Can't wait for the next holiday!!!

I know that these friends will be around for a long time and I look forward to all of the fun, crazy, silly memories that are yet to be made!!!

first pics with new camera

2008-09-01T16:14:00.001-07:00

my very own . . .

2008-09-01T14:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I made a big purchase! I got my very own digital slr camera!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks to my sweet hubby and some wonderful family members I was able to get my camera for my birthday!!! Oh, and thanks to Costco for having an unbelievable package!!! Love Costco - they certainly help the dollar go further. I have been taking pics since I opened it up and put it together. It is AWESOME!!!!!! I couldn't be happier! I asked Ellie if she would go outside with me so I could take some pictures of her - she eagerly agreed (love the Model Phase she is currently in) - I will post some of those pics in a bit.

Look forward to more pictures . . . now that I have my own camera. But, I do have to say a hearty thanks to my very sacrificial mom - she has always been willing to let me borrow her camera. Thanks Mom!!!!!

Gotta go . . . I'm sure there is something worth taking a picture of! :o)

a date . . . well, sort of!

2008-08-27T16:55:00.000-07:00

On Sunday we had a surprise birthday party to go to for our friend who lives in beautiful Corona del Mar. We had a great time especially because we got to hang out with our dear friends, Heath and Abby!!!! These are straight out of the camera (from my little point and shoot) - if I wait to do some editing I might not get them up right now - so here they are.

Bad lighting - I know, but me and my friend Abby - love the dress Abby!!!! :o)

The guys - the all played baseball together in High School - sorry the professional photographer got in my way . . .

so cute!!!

us girls again - don't you love the view off his back patio!!!

loved the flowers

all the guys! recognize anyone???

three buddies! So sweet to see friendships that last and get better and better!
Happy Birthday Gary - we love you!!!

cute couple!!!

santa barbara

2008-08-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago we decided to go up to beautiful Santa Barbara for the day - before we were tied to the school calendar. We took the girls to the zoo, played at the park, saw some friends, and had a yummy dinner at this great fish n' chips restaurant! So, better late than never, here are some pics. The Santa Barbara Zoo was really neat - such a nice size and you could get pretty close to the animals. It was a great way to end our summer.

maternity photo shoot

2008-08-15T05:32:00.001-07:00

Last weekend I was given the opportunity to take some pics of a couple who are expecting their second baby. I decided to start a photoblog that would be dedicated to my pictures - I'd love to get your feedback - feel free to check them out here.

it happened and WE survived!!!!

2008-08-14T07:04:00.000-07:00

Today was the day . . . the day that my baby started Kindergarten and, Praise the Lord, all went well!!!! Ellie did have a little meltdown last night . . . and by "little" I mean HUGE!!! But God was gracious and she woke up happy (probably because she didn't have to wait until 7-0-0!!) and ready to go to school.

Getting ready to go

The Backpack

Our Little Kindergartener

Just the Four of us

With Papa and Tilly

On our way . . .

Checking the place out

Ellie and some of her fans (aka cousins)

Sending her off

How did this happen? One day we were changing her diaper
now we are sending her off to school!!!!

Yeah! Alyssa and Parker made it - parking was a zoo - so Papa ran
to grab the kids so they could send Ellie off in style.
Ellie was so glad to see her cousins!

Ellie and Mrs. Walker

Not so sure about this . . .

Standing in line . . . really not sure about this whole thing

getting more comfortable

we got to stay for a little bit to do a craft

Our Craft

Pick-Up - All Smiles!!!

In front of the school with her first Green Panther Paw
(part of their reward system!!)

At McDonald's - special lunch - ready to do her craft
(a present from Alyssa, Parker, and fam)

McDonald's with two of her cousins - Caleb and Brett

A new friend - we actually ran into her at McD's - and come to find out they go to the same school, but different classrooms.

why can't time just stand still????

2008-08-12T13:57:00.000-07:00

The day has come that I have dreaded since I found out we were going to have a baby . . . the day that my precious little girl would leave me . . . ok, she isn't getting married (although I hear that that will be here before I know it), no, tomorrow Ellie Grace becomes a kindergartener!!!!!!!!! I can remember people visiting us in the hospital oohing and aahing over our new little baby girl and telling us how quickly the time would go . . . well, unfortunately, they were all right!!!!! But, why??? Why does the time have to go so quickly? Why can't I just bottle her up and leave her right where she is? My dear friend, Abby, in her godliness, reminded me that it is our job to raise our children to leave! What????? I've repressed that part, but she is so right! God has given us these precious gifts and it is our responsibility to raise them and teach them how to be responsible, God-fearing adults. That doesn't make this transition any easier!

I am so thankful that my babies have been born in the late winter/early spring - that means that I get to have them at home a little bit longer!!! I have really been in denial about this whole kindergarten thing - I've done the fun stuff willingly - the shopping and stuff, but tomorrow the reality will hit me whether I am ready or not . . . tomorrow we will walk our little girl into the school and hand her off to a teacher that we barely know. I am . . . trusting God for each moment - as I write this I can barely see - my eyes are filled with tears - what will tomorrow be like????? I was thinking today that for the past 5 years 5 months and 1 day Ellie Grace and I have been together (minus a few days here and there) - we have done everything together! 24/7 - 365 we've been together! And now there is going to be a 3 hour and 20 minute period of time where she will be somewhere without me . . . I know that she will have a wonderful time and this will be a great time of learning (for both of us), but it is weird to think that she won't be with me in the mornings.

What am I thankful for???

All of the sweet memories I have made with Ellie
That I have been able to be home with her since she was born.
That she is a sweet and loving little girl who loves Jesus and is excited for school and learning.
That I get to spend some time with Lily alone before baby #3 joins us.
That Ellie's school welcomes parent helpers! Got my TB test! I will be there!
For friends like Abby who remind me that God has given me these gifts and it is our job, as parents, to train them to leave.
That Ellie knows to eat the healthy snack first and then the unhealthy one (little things we've been talking about - so silly, I know)
That we have so many more wonderful memories to make!!!!
For each and every stage that she has gone through - each one has been better than the last - she is a real delight to my heart.
I love mornings - when the girls come out of their rooms and snuggle with us . . . so precious - I guess that will have to be relegated to the weekends.
That God blessed me with my sweet girls . . . they are truly a heritage from the Lord

If you think of us tomorrow - pray that I will not cry so loudly that I disturb all of the other children/parents around! Seriously, pray that God will give us the ability to actually let go of Ellie and send her off to her classroom. Pray that Ellie will go and have a wonderful time and that she will make some new friends!!!!

Here are a few pics of Ellie through the years!

something cute from Lily

2008-08-05T22:20:00.001-07:00

The other day we had gone to drop something off at my parents' house and while there had run into my mom's neighbor, Rhonda - she loves the kids so much that she has a "treasure" box that they can go through and get one prize/treasure - so Lily got some PlayDoh and Ellie got some crayons.

On the way home Lily was playing with the crayons and trying to open the package - I told her that they were Ellie's and that she needed to wait to open them - she says to me

"Is (it's) ok, mama, we share."

So cute! I'd like to think that she would've said the same thing if it were involving her PlayDoh . . .

birthday

2008-08-05T15:12:00.000-07:00

So, every year I get asked what I want for my birthday and without fail I cannot think of a single thing . . . well, this year I have actually come up with a couple of good ideas, in my mind at least - so I thought I'd document it - blog style . . .

This is for my mom - cause she's always asking so now I have something - although she is very aware of my #1 want!!!!

What do I want for my "29th" Birthday - (in 10 days . . . but who's counting - August 15th)

1. A Camera - or some money to go towards the camera cuz it's kinda expensive - I might be asking for this for the next 5 years . . . but, I'll wait! I don't know if this is the exact one that I want, but it's close - in fact, my camera-loving friends I'd love your opinions on the nikon vs the canon as I know a couple of you have recently switched . . . please comment.

2. John MacArthur Study Bible - I lost mine - so sad and I miss it! Oh, in NASB.

3. Disney Dollars . . . It's time to renew and we aren't going to let something like Kindergarten get in the way of spending time at "The Happiest Place on Earth"!!!!

Just a thought. . .

pictures

2008-08-03T15:39:00.000-07:00

Well, a few weeks ago - before all of this bed rest nonsense I took some pictures of my in laws with all of their grandchildren and my mom showed up and snapped a few of all of us.

I learned, from this experience, that I much prefer taking pictures of smaller groups - I found this to be a little bit more difficult than chasing a child around and snapping a few pics. I think it was the art of posing - I am not so good at that - I will work on that for the next time I take a larger group. I'm open to ideas from those of you who are more seasoned photographers.

I shot these at the Northbridge entrance - we actually had to wait for another photographer to finish - this was funny - I asked him if he minded that I take some pics - he told me that he'd probably be done by the time I finished setting up . . . well, not much to "set-up" when all you have is a camera! :o) I did also see the need for a larger flash - many of my pics came out quite dark. Well, good lessons learned - hopefully I am on my way to become better and better.

another update - what is this like .. .#25????

2008-07-30T15:02:00.000-07:00

so, I saw the doctor today - everything is good! The baby is growing - actually he/she was so busy moving around that we still were unable to get a decent picture. The last couple of times the baby has been curled up in a ball and this time he/she was kicking and moving - a gymnast apparently!

I am allowed to resume my normal activities, but SLOWLY!!! I guess that is the key word!!! This time I will be better and not try to do a weeks worth of work in one day. What I find funny is that my mom and grandma are telling me that I need to stay down and not do anything . . . as if they would have sat still too!!!! I come from a long line of woman who just don't know how to STOP!!! I guess I should add that to my list of lessons learned - it's ok to let others do things for you and to stop when your body tells you too!!!

My sister-in-law, Laura, was so sweet and took the girls to McDonalds the other day! They had a great time - I mean who wouldn't - cousins, mcdonalds, auntie . . .what's not to like????

Hopefully the remainder of this pregnancy will be uneventful and just NORMAL!!!!!!!!! But, no matter - I am thankful for a Sovereign God who is in charge of ALL things - he knows what I can handle and what my family can handle. This has been a good time to just trust the Lord.

bedrest update

2008-07-29T15:01:00.000-07:00

Well . . . let's see here . . . I went home on Saturday night - promised my mom that we would stay home from church so that I wouldn't do too much . . . I should've just gone to church because I ended up doing more than I should have!!! It all started with the kitchen floor - I'm pretty sure it could've doubled as fly paper it was so sticky - so had to clean that, then I found my maternity clothes - washed those, did a few other things around the house and then after naps took the girls to the mall -there were a few things I needed to get - all in all - I over did it! My doctor did say that I could "resume normal activities" but i don't think he meant for me to do them all in one day! So . . . I am back at my parents' house - probably until the end of the week.

On another note - anyone feel the earthquake? The girls didn't real feel it, but thought it was kinda cool. Ellie wanted to know if I had ever felt an earthquake before? I didn't explain Northridge.

good news

2008-07-23T14:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I just got back from the doctor - he gave me good news - HE TOLD ME THAT I WAS ALLOWED TO SIT UP!!!!!!!!!! I know that might not seem like good news to those of you on the outside, but for someone who has been laying down FLAT for the last 5 days this is HUGE!!!!!!!! Oh, the baby is good too - heartbeat is strong!!!! Yeah!!! So double good news! So if all goes well, I should be up and around fairly soon!!
Very exciting!
Thanks to all of you who have been praying for me!

The girls are having a great time today - they are spending the entire day with their daddy - last I talked to him and he had made "cheesy eggs", gone swimming, and were buying up all of costco! What a sweet daddy!

bedrest and the lesson of patience

2008-07-21T11:54:00.000-07:00

Hello, hello! I am posting this from the horizontal position - due to the fact that I have been put on bedrest . . . Oh Joy!!!! I've been told, per my doctor, that I am to stay off of my feet for possibly a week or two!!!!!!!! Yes, you read that right! But if I follow the doctor's orders then, Lord willing, I will be up and around very soon!!

I went to the doctor on friday and all is good with the baby - strong heartbeat and growing right on track! Yeah! Praise the Lord.

I know that God has a purpose for everything and I am thinking that He is trying to teach me a couple things - one being that I need to trust Him for all things! I need to learn to be patient and that it is ok to have others (mainly my husband and parents) do things for me.

All I can say is that God's lovingkindness is everlasting - He is in control of all of these details and I am so thankful for that!

If you think about us - please pray:

That this would stop and I would be able to resume normal activities
For my husband and parents - as we are staying with them so that my mom can help me with the girls
My girls that this would be a fun adventure for them and that they would be patient.
I would trust the Lord and not try to do this on my own as that will only complicate things.

Thanks - if you need me call me on my cell.

Psalm 136

1Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good,

For His lovingkindness is everlasting.

2Give thanks to the God of gods,

For His lovingkindness is everlasting.

3Give thanks to the Lord of lords,

For His lovingkindness is everlasting.

4To Him who alone does great wonders,

For His lovingkindness is everlasting;

5To Him who made the heavens with skill,

For His lovingkindness is everlasting;

6To Him who spread out the earth above the waters,

For His lovingkindness is everlasting;

7To Him who made the great lights,

For His lovingkindness is everlasting:

Art by Ellie Grace

2008-07-19T13:40:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't been posting lately . . . but, hopefully you understand.

Here are some pictures by our little artist - Ellie Grace

Here she is driving in the car.

Our house

Picture of our cat, Bogey

This must be her cat phase - this was her first picture of a cat - so cute!

what's in a number????

2008-07-13T13:05:00.000-07:00

Well, for us . . . there is A LOT in a number - at least this number that is before us. What number is that??? Well, the number 3! What does that mean . . . well, just look at the picture below and I think it should all make sense! :o)

And no. . . we won't be finding out with this one either!!!

the view from the front seat

2008-07-10T13:06:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago Ellie went to VBS (vacation Bible school) and every year they teach the kids new songs and some hand motions to go along . . . so while driving around today Ellie was teaching Lily all of the moves. I had the best view . . . although I probably should be looking out the windshield rather than the rear view mirror, but it was so cute watching Lily do the moves along with her big sissy! I drew the line at driving, watching, and snapping a picture of them . . . I just thought that might not be the best use of my time. :o)

ONE CENT PICTURES FROM SNAPFISH!!!!

2008-07-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that Snapfish is currently offering a special on prints - get this - ONE CENT!!!! Just a penny!!! IS THAT AWESOME OR WHAT?????

Enter the code: JUL4PENNY08 at the checkout!

I believe the offer is good through July 12th! So upload your pics!

"new" toys

2008-07-06T17:29:00.000-07:00

It feels like it has been ages. . . but alas only a week and a half have passed. Not really sure what we have done in that time. . .but very important things I'm sure! :o)

Anyways, yesterday, I decided that we would go through the toys and get rid of some things that we just don't use anymore or are kind of tired of playing with. I remember my cousin storing toys in the garage and bringing them out for her kids . . . they acted as if they had brand new toys! My girls have been playing with some "new" toys and they are so cute. I really need to be better about changing out their toys.

I will try to get some new pics up of the girls! Hope you all had a great 4th of July! Happy Birthday America!

Happy Birthday Parker!!!

2008-06-25T15:11:00.000-07:00

I am a day late, but I hope my little nephew will not mind!

Yesterday, the only boy in our family turned FOUR!!!! Parker has got to be the sweetest little guy around! Yes, yes, I am totally and utterly biased when it comes to this little guy, but I am very confident that after a few short minutes with him you would be under his spell as well!!!! He is full of energy and I mean FULL - and that isn't code for obnoxious - he is one ball of energy (much like his father was at that age). He is loving, sweet, kind, thoughtful, and ready to give hugs and kisses to me, his uncle, and cousins. As if his little heart wasn't enough . . . he has the most enviable eyelashes known to man (second only to his sister's)! He packs a lot into his tiny little frame and we love every bit of him!!!

Thanks for letting us help you celebrate at McDonald's yesterday.
We love you bunches and bunches!!!!

garage sale

2008-06-23T16:33:00.000-07:00

This weekend we had the first of two garage sales at my grandma's house. You would think I was taking my girls to Disneyland - they LOVE the garage sales . . . yes, this is a regular event in our family - we do them at least twice a year and have a BLAST!!! It is really the only time we get to sit and hang out. It is even more fun since my cousin, Susan, and her family live about four houses down. The kids play and play and play - so much that Ellie and Lily took a 4 1/2 hour nap yesterday!

Anyways, here are a few pics from our fun and HOT garage sale weekend.

Thursday - messin' around while we all set-up.

Friday . . . playing with the cousins, enjoying the garage sale, and trying to cool off!

So it isn't ALWAYS fun and games.

I love feet and hands. I especially love Lincoln's little chubby toes.

where were you . . .

2008-06-22T20:42:00.000-07:00

on June 21st, 1997????

I was getting married to my dear, sweet husband!

Yesterday, we celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary! We went shopping and to dinner - we had a great time! I am just thankful for the time to spend with him. It seems - between work (his) and the girls and all of the stuff that goes along with both we don't get to spend as much time together as we would like. In God's providence, Flavio had the weekend off!!! Yeah!!! We all got some much needed time with him!

Eleven years have flown by (and actually, we have been together for nearly 17 years!!!). We've had a great time on this ride and I look forward to many more wonderful years with this man who loves me in spite of my (many) faults!!!

I love you babe!

the leonard boys

2008-06-19T14:39:00.001-07:00

Here are a few pics of the adorable Leonard Boys . . . Ewan and Tate - what sweet little guys. Poor things were totally sweating by the end of our shoot. There are more to come . . . still editing, but I just had to post these.

Look for more pics on my new blog . . . www.graceandjoyphotoblog.blogspot.com

playing catch up

2008-06-17T21:30:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pics from the last week . . .
Ellie and I went on a date to The Glendale Center Theatre to see Singin' in the Rain - she had so much fun!!! This was her first play and she was completely mesmerized! At one point one of the actors says that he'd "rather kiss a tarantula than kiss her" (talking to another actor) - at that Ellie turned around and said "is there really going to be a tarantula?" I thought that was so cute - she was really paying attention. As if the play wasn't enough she got to sit between her two 13-year old cousins, Laura and Megan, she was in Heaven!!!! After the performance she was able to meet a couple of the actors - she thought they were pretty neat and they were quite impressed that she had stayed awake for the entire show! So much fun, I see more plays in her future!

Here are some random pictures taken by Ellie . . . this is what happens when a five-year old has a camera and your little sister is a ham!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

2008-06-16T16:46:00.001-07:00

I know I'm a day late . . . but, better late than never (as my mom always says!!!) ~ Flav had to work on Father's Day - apparently people want to buy cars for their dads.

The girls were so excited to wish him a Happy Father's Day when they saw him. He is such a great daddy! It is so cute to see the three of them all cuddled up together - talking, playing, giggling, watching sports (yes, he's already started brainwashing, I mean, training them on the finery of sports) - I think the cutest time is when he gets home and the girls have to "hide" - mind you they are 5 and 2 so the concept of hiding quietly has totally alluded them . . . but, they generally hide under the dining room table, under the blanket on the couch, or in the bathroom . . . no matter where they hide as soon as they hear him walk through the door the SCREAM!!! Screams of joy and excitement ~ and the "tickle me's" that come are too much! Earlier in the week Flav took both the girls on a date ~ he has always taken Ellie with him to get his haircut - they get a donut, go to the barber, run some errands, and just hang out for a little while . . . well, last Wednesday, Lily was included on the date. She was beside herself - she even recalled the adventure by saying "no mama" - meaning it was a time without mama.

I love the little ways that he shows the girls he loves them and that they are the most important things on this earth to him!

And to my dad . . . well, I just hope you know how much I love you and what a tremendous impact you have had on my life. Thank you for not compromising and for living a godly life! I love you!

ellie's turn

2008-06-16T14:08:00.000-07:00

Ellie was looking out our bedroom window at a few of our neighbors' backyards . . .

E: "Mama, those people with the kitchen in their backyard?" (I know that isn't really a question, but she posed it as one)
M: "Yes"
E: "They need to do some mow-lawning!"
M: "Hmm?"
E: "The other neighbors, who don't have the kitchen, their yard is PERFECT!"
M: "What do the other neighbors need to do?"
E: "some mow-lawning!"

Well, there you go . . . anyone need some "mow-lawning" done?

a Lily funny

2008-06-15T11:36:00.000-07:00

On our way home from church this morning I had this little conversation with Lily . . .

Me: "Lily, what did you learn this morning in Sunday School?"
L: (without hesitation) "cookies!?" (there was a little lilt in her voice - so funny!)
Me: speechless . . . I am pretty certain there was a lesson (as there is each week), but this week the cookie won out!

Have a blessed Sunday and Happy Father's Day to all you dad's - I will post a special post for Father's Day - but gotta run!

interesting take on public schools

2008-06-13T17:25:00.000-07:00

We had always said that we would send our children to public school and that we would take the year-at-a-time approach. We are about to embark upon our local public school (several weeks away - thankfully) and I must say that I have, and am sure will continue to feel, a myriad of emotions as we creep closer and closer to that day. But my friend, Lynn, emailed me this link about one woman's Christian perspective on the local public school. I pray, even now, that God will use our family to be a force for him on this campus. Read her thoughts - I thought it was such a great perspective. And if you think about us, pray that we might be a light at this school.

http://slowomenofgrace.blogspot.com/2008/06/i-praise-god-for-public-schools.html

how long has it been????

2008-06-12T14:48:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness!!!! I can't believe it has been over a week since my last post! What is going on??? You'd think I had other things to do than just sit here . . . oh, that's right I guess I do have a few things going on . . . ok, now I don't feel so bad.

Let's see, what has been going on here??? A lot of swimming! Ellie is becoming the little mermaid I knew she could be. She even jumped in the pool yesterday at the 4 1/2 marker - huge for her - of course, it helped that her daddy was right there waiting to catch her. Lily, on the other hand, is pretty sure that she can swim! Overconfidence runs deep in my family :o). She has learned that she MUST wait until I am in the pool to catch her (and let me tell you - the pool is FREEZING - by my standards, of course, people in Antarctica would probably bathe in this water, but I am a wimp!!!) - so she has to pretty much push me in the pool and then she can have her fun. It is so amazing to see how these two little girls are so different and yet so similar.

Something cute. . .
Ellie and Lily have been really enjoying each others company - it is so sweet. I often find them in the play room - dressing, undressing, and dressing again their Polly Pockets. They do have the scuffle here and there, but by and far are playing really nicely together - what a blessing! Praise the Lord!

The other night we were driving home from dinner and Lily noticed the stas (stars). So I asked her "who made the stars?" to which she replied, "desus" (Jesus) So I went on asking her - "who made the moon?" "desus" and so on. After I had asked her about a few different things that "desus" had created we were quiet and then I heard this . . . "umm, 'bout, dada?" So, I asked her "who made dada?" - "desus"
L: "umm, 'bout, mama?"
M: "who made mama?"
L: "desus"

L: "umm, bout, mankie?"
M: "who made your blankie?"
L: "umm, desus"

So cute - we went on and on like this for quite a while - I just think it is so sweet to see her little heart and her understanding, that God or Jesus did create all things - even her mankie!

Hope you have a blessed day - I will post pics when I get a chance. :o)

this is what happens when . . .

2008-06-04T16:58:00.000-07:00

I started this post yesterday and I was going to title it something like -"my girls, the park, and yummy chicken", that is until . . . this morning . . .

flashback to about 10:30 this morning - I am on the phone with my friend and the girls are playing away - having a great time, very few scuffles to think of. All of a sudden - I'm not sure exactly how this happened, but somehow Lily is in front of my with . . . drumroll please . . . the brightest, pinkest cheeks!!!! WHAT???? I quickly realize that she and her big sister have been "body painting" with the toothpaste! Fortunately, the painting was relegated to cheeks and the bathroom counter . . . if there is a positive note to this story.

I am totally shocked, but my wits are about me enough to know that I HAVE TO GET THE CAMERA and then we can discuss the wrongness (if that is even a word) of this little painting project.

So . . . here they are.

Does this make anyone else wonder what exactly is IN
this toothpaste to cause such an unnatural shade of pink?

Now, on to what I was working on before . . . girls, park, and yummy chicken

Tuesday we "converted" Lily's crib into a toddler bed of sorts (it isn't sold as a convertible, but I figured this out with Ellie . . .) - she couldn't wait to take her daddy upstairs and show him "mine new bed, dada!" So cute!!! She has been told that she is NOT, under any circumstances, to get out of her bed without mama or dada helping her! We don't like the kids just roaming around . . . anyways, this afternoon Ellie comes downstairs around 2:30 (middle of "map pime" - translation: nap time) and says "Lily got out of her bed and came to mine and woke me up!" Apparently, she didn't understand the rules the first time!

Here are a few pics of the park and as for the yummy chicken . . . well, I always like getting a whole chicken, but it just seems like I can never get it quite right - the white meat is dry, there just isn't enough flavor and so on, but this time I decided to try it in my crockpot . . . so good. In fact, Flav asked for seconds!!! That is huge as he isn't a big chicken fan. I guess if you put enough salt, pepper, garlic, lemons, rosemary, olive oil, carrots, and celery in with the chicken it tastes delicious!!! Just don't forget to take the liver, heart, and other disgusting organs OUT!

Lily and Ellie trying out the "new" bed
not a great picture, I know, but they were being so silly and wouldn't sit still.

finally I get a picture of that precious girl!
Love the "frashy" hair

my little model - she did this herself

what-a-ham!!! Love the snot running down her nose!

Playing at the Park

Lily came up with this outfit on her own!

notice the band-aid?
well, that would be a mommy-inflicted wound
I pinched her skin trying to get her bike helmet on
(btw. . .that was last week, but the injury was so great she has had to have a bandage on!!!)

yea, we're at the park!

it might be just me. . . but I think she is beautiful!

pictures from the shoot yesterday

2008-06-03T14:57:00.001-07:00

Like I said in yesterday's post - my dear friends were kind enough to let me take some pics of their adorable family! We went to one of our older parks that actually has fully grown trees - a total novelty around the Santa Clarita Valley . . . I think I got a few cute shots. This park wasn't as great a location as I had thought it would be - too many cars in the background to avoid - I mean, who wants a big ol' car behind your adorable child? Not me!

So, I will be looking for better parks in the area - got a suggestion? (preferably in SCV)

Aren't they three of the most adorable kids?!?!?! Totally rhetorical, especially since Ellie and Drake are married! :o)

addison grace

2008-06-02T22:33:00.000-07:00

Today I got to take pics of some of our dear friends and their adorable children. As usual, I took a TON of pictures, so it will take me until tomorrow or wednesday to get them edited, but I ran across this one and just had to post it for Addy's mommy and daddy. I think it is so cute.

Happy Birthday Tilly!

2008-05-27T15:01:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TILLY!!!

We hope you have a great day!!!

We love you!!!

forever grateful

2008-05-26T16:03:00.000-07:00

I have tremendous respect for our men and women who have and are currently serving in our Armed Forces!!! Thank you for the sacrifices that you have made so I can enjoy all of the freedoms our blessed country offers! Thank you seems so insignificant when some have given the ultimate sacrifice, their lives, but THANK YOU!!! On behalf of my family, we thank you for your service to us and this country! God Bless America and may God bless you!!

for you dad!

2008-05-25T14:37:00.000-07:00

So I was going through and editing my song on my playlist and ran across The Old Rugged Cross by none other than The Statler Brothers. I don't expect many of you to know who they are, but in my family every long car ride (or short for that matter), every trip, every opportunity to listen to some "good 'ol gospel" included The Statler Brothers. And, as is typical, I really didn't care for them (putting it mildly) as a kid, but I must admit I'm not so put off by them now - not that I have their cd's laying around. But, well this is for my dad! Thanks for making us listen to The Statler Brothers and all of the other bluegrass gospel albums on our many adventures to and fro the great west!

In case you are unfamiliar with this wonderful old hymn (one of my favorites - brings me to tears just about everytime I hear it) - here they are:

On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
The emblem of suffering and shame;
And I love that old cross where the dearest and best
For a world of lost sinners was slain.

Refrain

So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross,
Till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
And exchange it some day for a crown.

O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,
Has a wondrous attraction for me;
For the dear Lamb of God left His glory above
To bear it to dark Calvary.

Refrain

In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
A wondrous beauty I see,
For ’twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
To pardon and sanctify me.

Refrain

To the old rugged cross I will ever be true;
Its shame and reproach gladly bear;
Then He’ll call me some day to my home far away,
Where His glory forever I’ll share.

Refrain

I've been tagged. . . six quirks

2008-05-25T13:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't know if these are really "quirks", but Jenny tagged me and this is the best I could come up with. I'm sure some of you could help me uncover my true quirkiness, but we will leave it at these. Here are the rules -

* Link the person who tagged you.
* Mention the rules in your blog.
* Tell about six unspectacular quirks of yours.
* Tag six bloggers by linking them. (They shall be "it")

Here goes . . .

1) I absolutely CANNOT stand anything that is artificial grape!!! Whether it is lollipops, chapstick, stickers, I don't care what it is but that odor really makes me ill!!! Ellie knows not to grab any purple candies. YUCK!!!

2) I'm not a big fan of others cooking my eggs - especially at a restaurant!!! It drives my husband crazy, but if I do order eggs they have to be "scrambled dry and hard!!!" No watery eggs for me. . . the idea makes me want to vomit right now!!!

3) If Jenny can use this, then so will I - heights!!! Totally afraid of them! Ask any of my family members that were with me as we entered The Empire State Building!!! If you aren't afraid of heights you don't understand the irrational rationale of one who is!

4) My beverage of choice is . . . WATER! I don't really drink anything other than water - an occasional lemonade. . . but that is pretty rare. I just like water.

5) 100% Pure Maple Syrup!!! Is there anything other than that to use on waffles or pancakes??? Again, this kinda drives Flav crazy, but I won't eat waffles or pancakes or french toast without the Grade A, Dark Amber, 100% Maple Syrup! Just love the stuff!!!

6) Again, I'm right there with Jenny - I totally love my computer and anything having to do with the Internet. I was actually called a Geek the other day and took that as a compliment. I'd never been called a geek before (if you saw my grades you'd totally understand why!) But I guess I am a bit of a techno-geek. If my dad got a new electronic device I was usually the one to hook it up. I could spend hours on the computer doing just about anything.

I don't know how quirky that makes me . . . but those are the best I could think of.
So, now it is your turn - Kelli I, Tracy, Ashley, Laura, Wendy, and Kelli E.

new subjects!!!

2008-05-20T22:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I coerced my parents and grandma (didn't really take much coercing) to meet me at Bridgeport (yet again! I need to find a few new locations) for a little shoot. I needed some pictures of them with Ellie for her Master's Kids book to go along with the letters that they wrote to her - so sweet! Anyways, I wanted the pictures to go alongside the letters - so off we went! Fortunately I didn't really intend on taking pics of Lily - cause she was in NO MOOD to sit for the camera - oh what a feisty one she is. . . I'm chalkin' that up to the Irish blood!!! :o) just kidding grandma!!!

Here are a few from today - I know that I'm going to get a call or comment from my mom about how she doesn't like how she looks in some of the pictures . . . but, I think she looks great!!! And, well, it's my blog and I get to post the pics . . . so. . . hmmmm!!!

Did I mention that my grandma is 95 1/2!!!
Isn't she beautiful!!! I can hear her now refuting such a statement!

The two Ellen's!

My mom is going to hate this, but . . . if you know my mom -
she is always laughing . . . so it is perfect!

hide and seek!
Where are Ellie and Papa???

help!

2008-05-19T22:56:00.000-07:00

How do I get rid of the border around the previous header? But, I don't want to get rid of borders altogether! Is there a way to remove the header border without losing the borders around my pictures in my blog????

at the pool with our friends

2008-05-19T14:58:00.000-07:00

I think I will be using "pool fun" or some variation in a number of my blog titles . . . that is all we are doing lately and I know that it is going to become much more frequent! Again, sorry to my friends who have not seen anything close to warm!

Our friends came over to our pool today and what fun we had!!! Drake, Addison, Ellie and Lily had a blast . . . again, Lily "thinks" she can swim . . . so, she is really trying to keep up! Here are a few pics. As an aside, Drake has to be one of the cutest and sweetest boys in the world (Parker, my nephew, is, of course, at the top of that list:o) !!! In fact, he is betrothed to a number of girls - two of which are my daughter and my niece, Alyssa. I'm not really picky, I just want him in our family! We will see what God has planned!!!

Baby Knox ~ aren't those eyes amazing!?!?!

such a boy! gotta show the muscles!

sweet Addy

ready to swim!

their beautiful mommy and my dear friend!

silly kiddos!

thought provoking question

2008-05-18T14:34:00.000-07:00

Our pastor posed a question this morning and I have been thinking about it . . .
thought I'd share it with you . . .

What am I willing to believe the Lord for -
that when it happens He will get ALL the Glory?

day at the pool

2008-05-18T14:23:00.000-07:00

We have it real rough here in beautiful So. Cal ~ we have had to spend the last two days in the pool!!! It has been near or over 100 degrees (sorry to those of you who are just now hitting the 50's). On Friday we were at the pool twice . . . most of these pics are from our afternoon visit. Enjoy and stay cool!

this is for Lynn - this is the only good pic I got of Ewan

I love the wispy hair! And I love this girl!!!

Ok, is there a cuter little boy out there???? Totally a rhetorical question!!! Isn't he the cutest thing!

Reagan and Tilly! Reggy (as Lily calls her) is pretty sure that she can swim - she saw her sister, brother, and cousins swimming, so why can't she?

sweet cousins!

yes, the eyelashes are real. . . and they are longer in person!!!!

This may not look like anything to you. . .but, this is my sweet Ellie girl swimming - head in the water, body horizontal, and using BIG arms!!! If you have been privy to our past swimming experiences you will appreciate this!!! This is huge! I am so proud of my girl!

my swimmer!

photoshop question

2008-05-17T16:42:00.000-07:00

Anyone know of a really good PSE6 tutorial? I am generally pretty good at figuring out a new program, but this one totally has me! I need some basic help - I don't really understand the whole layer thing - not really sure why I should use them, what their purpose is . . . all of those questions! Email me if you have other ideas.

Thanks

fun pics from the week

2008-05-16T21:36:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more pics from my shoot with the steele girls and then from a day at the pool with Tate and Ewan (although I didn't get a good picture of Ewan - next time)

I liked the darkness of this . . . am I crazy?

we came around the corner and Sydney was just sitting there looking at the ducks

i thought this was kinda cool

playing with the color

totally love this one! top 5!

such a sweet face!

love feet and hands!

I think this is my absolute favorite from the day! At least top 5!

gotta love the shoes!

what is better than a boy in a pool?

don't you just love that red hair!?!?!

how cute is she????

and this one?

I am partial to back views - I love how Sydney's hair is blowing in the breeze.

my first photo shoot!!!

2008-05-15T16:43:00.001-07:00

Today, was so fun!!! I borrowed my mom's fantabulous camera and shot some pics of the Steele girls (and some of mine as well). I took nearly 600 pictures - yeah, I know, totally crazy - I'm sure, with time, I will be able to be more discriminating, but I was taking pictures of four of the cutest girls in the world!!!! (totally unbiased opinion!)

London was the most hysterical - she puts up this very shy facade, but what-a-HAM she is!!! I think some of my best pics were of her.

Anyways, I wanted to practice taking pics and Jodi was kind enough to let me use her girls. Here are a few of the pics - I am still weeding through and editing most of them, but I managed to get a couple done. Hope you enjoy. I'd love your feedback, comments, and all around thoughts on how I can become a better photographer!!!

funnies from ellie

2008-05-12T18:52:00.000-07:00

at the end of dinner tonight - Ellie looks down at her napkin and says,

"Wow, I really did get stuff off my face!!"

As if noticing, for the first time,
that the napkin really does work if used properly!!!
____________________________________________

Driving home last week from somewhere -
Ellie asked, "how do you spell the word to?"

I thought she wanted the number, so I spelled it for her, then I asked,
"did you mean the number two or like 'I went to Disneyland?"

Then I try to explain to her, not sure why, but, I tell her that there are three different to's - I run through a brief description and say, "It's a bit confusing, huh?."

Ellie: "Yeah, it is confusing, but I got it!"
_______________________________________

I need to be better at writing these funny things down!!!
She and Lily just come off with the cutest things!

Happy Mother's Day

2008-05-11T21:16:00.000-07:00

This weekend was really special . . . Flavio was off all weekend!!!! Yeah!!! We had a great time - we went to the park, the girls rode their bikes, they cleaned and vacuumed for me :o), we spent time together - that was the best! My mom was so sweet and offered her babysitting services for Saturday night (at a special Mother's Day weekend rate - so generous :o), but I really just wanted to spend time with Flav and the girls - thanks anyways, we will take you up on your offer another time!

Ellie is at the age where she is understanding the holidays - she kept seeing all of the commercials for Mother's Day - she was asking me if she could get me flowers - I said, "of course!!!", but told her she had to talk to daddy - cause he was in charge of this. She wanted to make me a special breakfast of eggs with chocolate chips - yummy!!! We nixed that at settled for Dutch Babies (a family favorite), but since Ellie and Flav don't know how to make it I cooked while they "cleaned".

I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but that is because God surrounded me with some pretty remarkable women. My mom!!! I cannot begin to express how much I love my mom and how much she means to me! If you know her - you know that she is so giving of herself, her time, her resources - everything! If I call ask what she is doing she says, without fail, what do you need? I can remember her carting my brothers and I from one end of the valley to the other without complaining. I've heard her say, on more than one occasion, how much she loved being a mom! Now, why wouldn't I want to do the same thing??? I have large shoes to fill and pray that I can do half the job she has done. I love you mom and am so thankful for you and your godly example to me and my daughters!

I am doubly blessed to have my grandma - aka. grammie great! She has been at every minor and major event in my life! She amazes in me in so many ways, but mostly her strength! I know that she would attribute that to the Lord and I find her absolutely remarkable - I pray that my faith in God is as strong as hers, I pray that I turn to the Lord in all things as I have seen her do, I thank God for giving me such an amazing grandma and for preserving her life so that my daughters can glean from her.

To my wonderful aunts - I cherish you and thank you for the tremendous impression you have made upon my life. You will never know how much you have influenced my life.

Enough sappiness!!

I hope you all had a blessed Mother's Day!!!

Me and my girls

Ellie Grace the day she was born

Lily Joy - I know this is silly, but it cracks me up!

ever wonder what happens at our house??

2008-05-08T10:48:00.000-07:00

Well, here are a few pics of what the girls did yesterday . . . fairly typical.

just playing around

like the outfit?

such a little lady

just love this one!

cute pictures

2008-05-07T22:01:00.001-07:00

Here are some pictures from our Aquarium visit that I edited in some way - I think they turned out cute . . . just my opinion!

caleb's baseball game

2008-05-07T14:08:00.001-07:00

Here are a few pictures from the baseball game. It was funny to be back at these fields - growing up we spent just about every Saturday here - one of us had a game - YES, I played sports once in my life - not well, but I played!! It was fun to see the girls having just as much fun at the field as we used to.

last field trip

2008-05-07T07:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our last field trip with Master's Kids. (boo hoo!!) It doesn't seem possible that our year is coming to an end. We have had so much fun and made such wonderful friends - this will definitely be a year of terrific memories. We went to The Aquarium of the Pacific - what an amazing way to see all that God's oceanic creations!

Flav asked how the aquarium was and this is what Ellie said,
"Daddy, it was a ZOO!!"

I think she got that from me, cause I kept saying how busy it was!

It was quite busy - there were a lot of schools there, but we had a great time. The girls had so much fun looking and touching all of the animals. Not surprising, Lily was much more inclined to touch the animals - Ellie wanted to look from a distant . . . again, not a shock!

We had lunch on the grass overlooking the Queen Mary - the kids had so much fun chasing the birds away and "accidentally" feeding the annoying birds. We were exhausted by the end of the day, but so much fun!!!

There are a couple pictures of Caleb's (my nephew) baseball game. By the time we got back to the valley we realized that he had a game so we ran over there for a bit. I cannot believe he is so big. He pitched two innings and did a great job!!! The girls had so much fun running around the field and getting filthy!!!!

exhausted

2008-05-05T20:49:00.000-07:00

There were no naps today . . . we just got busy running around and the girls were doing great so, I chose to forgo the naps (an extremely rare occurance) and opted for an early bedtime (the girls have actually been asleep for about 40 minutes!). Anyways, as I was getting dinner ready I walked into the living room to check on the girls and this is what I saw - way too cute!!!

we walk by faith

2008-05-04T16:10:00.000-07:00

This morning the choir sang this beautiful song and it was such a good reminder to me to walk by faith and not by sight!

We walk by faith and not by sight. We trust in God and not in might.
For in our darkness He is light. We walk by faith and not by sight.

Sometimes trials come our way. We don't know what to do or say.
But we know God will make a way. If we will trust, trust and obey.

We walk by faith and not by sight. We trust in God and not in might.
For in our darkness He is light. We walk by faith and not by sight.

We trust in God and in His Son. What God has promised will be done.
And as each journey is begun, His Holy Spirit makes us one

We walk by faith and not by sight. We trust in God and not in might.
For in our darkness He is light. We walk by faith and not by sight.

We may not fully understand, but we are guided by His hand.
And as we follow faith's command, God leads us to the promised land.

We walk by faith and not by sight. We trust in God and not in might.
For in our darkness He is light. We walk by faith and not by sight.

the worst sound!!!

2008-05-01T21:13:00.000-07:00

The girls were in bed - Lily was talking like crazy and have a good ol' time - while Ellie was really trying to get to sleep and all of a sudden I hear a thud - but it sounded more like a book was thrown out of the crib, until I heard this -

"Mama, Lily fell out of her crib!!!!!"
and then SOBS AND SOBS from Lily!!!!!!!!!!

oh yeah! You heard right! Lily, somehow, FELL OUT OF HER CRIB and right on to the floor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ellie wasn't looking at her so she isn't really sure what happened! Thankfully Lily didn't get hurt and there wasn't anything in front of the crib for her to fall on - Praise the Lord!!!

Always a fun way to end the evening! God is so gracious to protect my baby even when she is messing around and somehow falls out of the crib!

Lily is now as quiet as a mouse . . . if she isn't asleep now she will be soon!

Always something going on here!

slumber party

2008-04-29T21:56:00.000-07:00

So, on Thursday Ellie's very bestest (non-cousin) friend got to spend the night!!!! This was extra special, because this was Sydney's first EVER slumber party!!! We feel so privileged that her mommy and daddy let her first big girl slumber party be with us! Sydney and Ellie have been friends since they were about 18 months old - at first they didn't have a choice cause Sydney's mom and I hit it off and so they had to be friends - now they are totally inseparable! They are so sweet together and hopefully friends for life!

Here are a few pics from their fun time together!

deadline

2008-04-16T23:34:00.000-07:00

I must explain my lack of posts! I am knee deep in a scrapbook for my precious Ellie (if you are family and haven't given me a letter . . . anytime is good :o). I really enjoy scrapbooking, but I don't like deadlines!!! I am a procrastinator of procrastinators (thanks mom :o), but I am trying to NOT leave this to the very end, but it is 11:30 and I am going to bed ONLY because I ran out of my tape runner refills!!!! I was on a roll - working on a page and BAM! out of tape!!!! I even emailed my Creative Memories consultant and told her I'd come by tonight if she was awake - I did warn her that I would be in my jammies - maybe that is why I haven't heard from her?! Who knows. Anyways, the book is due April 29th!!!!!!!!!! Every spare moment is spent to this book in one way or another. Bear with me and I will be back to post some pics of my sweet girls.

In the meantime here are a couple pics of Lily - yes, that is a laundry basket - they were playing and Ellie fixed up a nice little bed for her "baby". Lily thought it was great!

The Masters

2008-04-10T10:26:00.001-07:00

Flavio got to The Masters late last night and was blown away!! He said that the house he is staying at is beautiful! Mercedes had a gift basket and a bag filled with stuff! He is totally spoiled now! They were picked up from the dealership yesterday morning by a MBZ limo, flew business class, waited in the first class lounge, picked up in another beautiful MBZ when they arrived in Augusta, there is a MB tent for all of the guys and so much more that I am sure he hasn't been able to take it all in! He said that the course was amazing!

Pray that he has a good attitude when he has to come back home :o)

Our Zoo Day

2008-04-10T10:07:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pics from our fun field trip to the Los Angeles Zoo!

just have to share this one

2008-04-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

I will post more pictures later from our day at the zoo, but I must share this one . . . would you believe that one of our Master's Kids took this picture??? My mom let him snap a picture and this is what he took . . .

Ellie and Sydney - bestest little friends

has it been two weeks????

2008-04-07T18:23:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! I cannot believe that I have not blogged for about two weeks! How crazy is that?!?!?!

Girls are good - we just got back from the park - they were cracking me up - well, Lily was - she was rolling around in the sand. See, I look at that and think - YUCK!!!, but Lily, obviously, looked at the sand and thought - gee that would be so fun to roll around in and get all over my hair! Again, I say YUCK!!! But, she had fun - and really that is all that matters at the park!

Flavio is thrilled beyond words - he has been asked to represent MB Encino at The Masters - if you are saying "What is The Masters?", then you don't know how HUGE this is for him. The Masters is one of the major PGA Tour events and he has never been! In all the years he caddied, they never went - so this is HUGE!!! Apparently, all or most of the Mercedes dealerships around the country will be represented due to the fact that they provide the cars for the tour players. I am very excited for him!

As for me - in the past two weeks I have read two novels, worked on Ellie's Master's Kids scrapbook (that is due very shortly), watched a few movies (due to netflix free trial), and attempted to keep the house up and cook dinner - you know, the usual.

As far as the books that I just read - I love Lori Wick - she is a Christian author and I really love what she writes and how she does it - keeps you wanting more. I read her latest novel White Chocolate Moments - so good - I think it took me about three days due to the fact that people around here actually want to eat . . .

The second novel I read was an interesting and rather disturbing autobiography of Carolyn Jessop's life as a Fundamentalist Latter Day Saint (FLDS) - remember Warren Jeffs - the guy who married somewhere around 100 woman - some of which were as young as 14? Well, her story is amazing of how she escaped from a life of polygamy. I would definately recommend this book - really easy to read - called Escape
Just thought I'd let you know that I am alive and well, just busy with life and my sweet girls.

We are off to the zoo tomorrow, I am sure that I will have plenty of pictures to share.

Happy Easter

2008-03-24T00:03:00.001-07:00

I hope you had a wonderful Easter - celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus Christ!! We had a really nice day! It was so beautiful here - the sun was shining, there was a slight breeze, and the weather was perfect! I love California! After church and naps we headed out to the park for dinner and an Easter Egg Hunt - the kids all had so much fun . . . of course, there was candy, candy, and more candy! Lily was convinced that everything she found was "canny"!

We are blessed to attend an amazing church, Grace Community Church, to sit under the teaching of our Pastor/Teacher, John MacArthur, and equally blessed by the musicians. Today, one of my favorite singers, Jubilant Sykes, sang "Were you there" (one of my favorite songs) - it is such an amazing song - you gotta here him sing it - he is truly amazing!

Were you there when they crucified my Lord
Oh were you there when they crucified my Lord
(Oooh sometimes it causes me to tremble) tremble

Were you there when they crucified my Lord
Were you there when they nailed him to the cross
Were you there when they nailed him to the cross
(Oooh sometimes it causes me to tremble) tremble
Were you there when they nailed him to the cross

(Were you there when they laid him in the tomb
Were you there when they laid him in the tomb
Oooh sometimes it causes me to tremble) tremble

Were you there when they laid him in the tomb
Well were you there when the stone was rolled away
Were you there when the stone was rolled away
(Oooh sometimes it causes me to tremble) tremble
Were you there when the stone was rolled away

I am completely overwhelmed by what my Lord did for me on the cross! Ellie's favorite song of late it My God is an Awesome God and I can't help but shout that from the rooftops - my God is an AWESOME God! I am forever grateful for His death on the cross so that I might have life eternal with Him in heaven.

I hope that this Easter has caused you to look at your own eternity and I hope you have the assurance that I do of where you will spend your eternity.

Ellie's tea party

2008-03-14T23:08:00.000-07:00

This has been a fun and CRAZY week! Ellie's birthday was tuesday and on thursday she had her first ever friend birthday party! She wanted to have a tea party and that we did! She invited six little girlfriends (and her sister) and they had tea. The girls were so cute - looked like little ladies at high tea. I am not sure who had more fun, Ellie or me?! I thoroughly enjoyed (although equally exhausted) preparing for this tea party. Ellie helped me bake the cakes (each little girl had there very own little heart cake), she helped my make the heart sugar cookies, she helped decorate and prepare for this special birthday party.

Last night, after the crazy, fun, exhausting day, Ellie wanted me to snuggle with her in bed for a bit, so there I lay, with my precious 5 year old, remembering the days, five years ago, when we would lay in bed together - only she was so tiny and would fit in the crook of my arm, she would sleep and I would lay in amazement and this precious gift from God. I thanked God right there for my precious girl - she is such a blessing.

ps - I could not have done half of this without the amazing help of my mom!! She came and helped me clean on wednesday and was my all around Cinderella!!! Thanks mom for all you do!

five years ago . . .

2008-03-11T12:53:00.001-07:00

Where were you FIVE years ago today???

Well, I was in the hospital holding my little girl! Yep, Ellie Grace is five years old today!!! It does not seem possible and yet, here she is . . . no longer my little baby who was so totally dependent upon me for everything - food, clothing, clean diapers, happiness, and so much more. Today she is a very able five year old - who, can run and jump, fill her own cup with water, get a snack out of the cupboard, buckle herself in the car, ride a bike (with training wheels), write her name, draw pictures (mostly of Ariel), color, sing, dance, play games, and so much more.

Of all the things she is capable of doing - my most favorite would have to be when she asks "Mama, can you come sit with me?" No matter what I am doing I love to stop and sit with my little girl! How special those times are on the couch or snuggling in her bed or wherever . . . as long as my girls are around us we are happy parents!

Ellie Grace,
From the moment you were born you have been a complete and utter joy to your daddy and me! It seems like only yesterday we were presented with this beautiful little girl. I remember looking at you in disbelief . . . you were really ours! We had waited so long for you and finally you had come! You were born with that little tooth - so cute and funny! You have made me laugh and cry, feel such pride and joy. We are so thankful for you and that God brought you to our family five years ago. We pray, more than anything, that God will be the center of your life and that you will serve Him all the days of your life!

We love you sooooooooooo much!

I changed my music arrangement around - the first song is the song Flavio picked for Ellie when she was just a few days old . . . so sweet!