fridays

Four weeks ago today we met our son, Jackson Christopher - it is crazy - I'm looking at the clock right now and realizing that exactly four weeks ago I laid eyes on my son! In some ways it seems like the time has gone by rapidly and in other ways it seems as though time stopped on October 10th!!! I was thinking last night how everyone looks forward to Fridays - they have taken on a whole new meaning for me . . . a day which is a reminder of my son - not that every other day isn't a reminder, but for the past four weeks, without fail my eyes have gone to the clock right around this time - I don't know why, but they have! I go back to that room in the hospital, I see my baby boy lying in the bassinet where my two daughters once laid kicking and flailing around - he was still, he was perfect, but he was still.

This week has been more difficult than others, I don't know exactly why, but it has. I've found myself weeping and can't exactly put my finger on the reason, I just know that my heart aches for my little boy! And just the time I start to get sad my sweet girls do something so silly and funny that my tears of sadness turn to tears of joy! Over and over I praise God that He gave me two beautifully healthy girls to ease my heart just a bit, to make me laugh, to hug and kiss! They are truly a blessing beyond words!!!

I know my heart aches and yet, I can't begin to imagine what our friends The Kostjuks are going through right now - tomorrow will be a celebration of their sweet Reese's life - last week she went home to be with Jesus! She got the best birthday present ever - to be in the arms of God!!! Please pray for them and their families as the service is tomorrow morning. We rejoice with them that Reese is looking upon the face of God and that she is perfect and healthy, but we hurt with them as no parent ever wants to say goodbye to their baby!!!